Snapshots of the Heart ~ Willingness & Ability to Work

My husband and I have a very mature and practical way to share the work load around the house.

Rock. Paper. Scissors.

(Insert the Bluth brothers and their giant rock and scissors here.)

Dirty Diaper?  Rock. Paper. Scissors.

Tantruming three-year old?  Rock. Paper. Scissors.

Yucky-mucky crock-pot to scrub?  Rock. Paper. Scissors.

.... Uh ... best of three?

The kids have another method that is not nearly as effective, but it sure is cute.


Eemy Meemy Miney Mo.  Ketch a Pider.  Meeney Mo!

Being willing to do a job is wonderful.  Actually doing the job well is fantastic.

And happily doing a job 100% with enthusiasm?  That's awesome!

How do you get your kiddos (or you or your spouse) to get jobs done around the house?
How do you inspire having a good work ethic ... in the area of homework, chores and special tasks?
How do you communicate the value of a job well done?

"Teach my children, Lord, to value work 

and to work at it with all their heart, 

as working for the Lord, not for men."  

Colossians 3:23

In Need of Some Tweaking

I'm a creature of habit.  Quite obsessively so.  I have habits to keep my habits habitually habited.

Yeah.  I'm one of those.

Here's an example so we're all on the same page:

When it's bedtime, I ...

put my yellow cup on the end table down by the couch so I'll have it when I work-out in the morning (if I manage to get up early enough),

go upstairs and turn on the heating pad at the foot of my bed (I despise cold tootsies),

move the decorative pillows off the bed,

turn on my bedside lamp,

remove my jewelry, glasses and deposit my cell phone next to my "treasure box" as Ashley calls it,

head to the bathroom to floss, brush and Listerine (in that order),

while burning away the flesh in my mouth from the above, retrieve vitamins for Brett and I,

quick potty break,

pj's,

read for a bit minutes,

and then lights out.

If I do something a little out of order, I feel a bit funky.  If I miss something altogether, I feel twitchy.

For my readers who like to shake things up and have a different plan each day, this probably sounds horribly boring and tedious.  For me, it's the source of my sanity.

I have been the same way with my kids.

We have a nap-time routine, a meal-time routine, a bath-time routine and a bed-time routine.  And I've always liked having the comfort of tradition and structure to our days.

Knowing this about me, you can imagine how challenging it has been in the recent months as we have faced a few, new family schedules.  Schedules that threaten to shake up the "we've always done it this way" groove that I live in.  (Let the twitching begin!)

Norah and Ashley have moved up a level in gymnastics and we have a new weekly schedule of practices.  Now we are scheduled to be at Kidzplex five afternoons a week with classes starting at 4:15.  This new plan means that we won't be leisurely walking up to school to pick up kids (ever again) but instead snagging them from the crosswalk and zooming to the gym, snacking as we drive, only to arrive  with just enough time to change clothes and make sure pony tails are secure.

Lydia has begun to haphazardly nap.  Every now and then, she rolls, romps and reads instead of sleeping.  I still require her to stay in her bed but I have to be prepared for a potentially cranky little three-year old for the afternoon.  This almost always guarantees an easy bedtime (she's utterly exhausted by 7:30) but it also almost guarantees a clingy kid when it comes time for me to make dinner.  I am flirting with the possibility of someday being nap-free and I'm not entirely sure how I feel about that.  What if I still need a nap?!

Aaron has started a class two afternoons a week at the rock climbing gym.  Gratefully it is at the same time as Norah's practices on Tuesdays and Thursday (shifted just enough to allow time to drop both off and pick both up with 15 minutes of each other) and the two gyms are just five minutes away from each other.  He has needed something just for him, but I was hesitant to jump into another team sport.  I can't imagine fitting in weekend games or the need to fundraise.  Shudder ... It is an ideal situation for him and us ... but it is still shaking up our norm.

As we headed into this new schedule, I initially had it in my head that we would fit these new activities into our current routine.  It didn't take long, however, for this plan to derail.  Not at all.  In fact, on day one it became obvious to me that life was in need of some tweaking.

Last Tuesday, we finished school, we cartwheeled, we belayed and we all made it home for dinner.  That night as we sat around the kitchen table, the conversation turned to what the big kids needed to do before bedtime.  Finish dinner, work on math, read for school and take showers.  All in forty-five minutes.  Hmmm ...

As you can imagine, that time evaporated rather quickly.  As our traditional bedtime neared, the big kids were still needing to read for their classes.  We made the decision to pass on our family book time and let them read alone.  After twenty minutes I would tuck them in and sing and pray with them.  As they headed off on their own, I settled in for a few minutes of me-time.

But I didn't enjoy it.

This wasn't how we ended our day, doing our own thing and scattered around the house.

No ...
We pile on the couch.
We share our "bests" and "leasts" of the day.
We pray together.
We predict together what will happen next in the chapter book I read aloud.
Then it's off to bed for back rubs and lullabies.
That's how I want to usher my kids off to dream land.

When the timer beeped, alerting us that our twenty minutes were up, I called Norah down to Aaron's room.

And I tweaked.

"We're going to try something a little different.  I'm glad you got your homework done, but now I need my time with you.  What were the bests and leasts of your day?"

In the glow of Aaron's bed-side lamp, we talked, we prayed, we read and we sang.  And we started a new routine.

A new routine that will once again do its job of carving out our time together; making sure that we can fit in all the "have-to-stuff" with the "want-to-stuff"; preserving that sacred time to be piled on Aaron's bed and sharing about our day.  That's the purpose of a routine away ... making sure there is time for everything we want to do.

¹ There is a time for everything, 
   and a season for every activity under the heavens: (Ecclesiastes 3:1)


A time to get your homework done ... and a time to snuggle with your mom.

Monkey See, Monkey Do

We have an interesting phenomenon here in our house.  One that has mixed results.  Without necessarily meaning to, our older kids are constant and consistent role models to Lydia.  Of good things and things, well ... not so good.

For example, if you were to join us around the kitchen table, you might find the following scenarios:

Aaron turns sideways on the bench and leans against the nearest wall.  With one elbow propped on the table, he dips a steak fry in ketchup and with great care, navigates the two and half feet to his mouth.  As you look across the table, you might find Lydia lounging in the same comfortable position, but not nearly as successful with the ketchup delivery.  This little monkey doesn't have quite the same hand-eye coordination.  In fact there is a small trail of red ketchup from her table to her mouth, traveling up her chin!

Gratefully, Aaron also models responsible behavior at the dinner table.  As he is faithful to say, "please", "thank you", "may I be excused?", we have heard Lydia mimic these same words.  She is learning the importance of good manners as she watches and listens to her older brother use those magic words.  Of course, she still has a way to go.  Recently during dinner she sat at her seat, pointed to her soup and informed me, "that smells stinkies."  That silly monkey followed her previous winning compliment with, "This bad."  Those zingers are 100% Lydia!

Norah is a busy body around the table.  Up.  Down.  Up.  Down.  Up.  Down.  She has a lot of trouble sitting, due in part to the fact that her body has trouble containing her boundless energy and due in part to the fact that there are so many amazing things to look at in the kitchen!  As we sit down to eat, someone will comment on a magazine that came in the mail ... Norah jumps up to find said magazine and show it to  us all.  "Please sit down."  Next a song comes on our Pandora station and someone asks who the artist is ... Norah jumps up to check the iPod and informs us that it's Jack Johnson.  "Please sit down."  Someone at the table mentions that they are thirsty ... Norah jumps up and races to the fridge to get more water.  "Please sit down."  It wouldn't be such a big deal that she wants to be such a finder/informer/helper if she didn't have her side-kick.  With each leap from the table, our littlest monkey is right on her heels, seeking to find, inform and help, too.  It's like Grand Central Station in our kitchen.  "Please sit down!"

On the flip side, Norah is a terrific role model when to comes time to help in the kitchen.  As she unloads the dishwasher or helps to set the table, she is quick to give manageable jobs to Lydia.  She encourages her little helper to carry the kids' bowls to the drawer or stack the plastic cups.  With each completed chore in the kitchen, Lydia is learning where things live and how to help clean up.  Of course, we're still working on that monkey not licking the silverware before returning them to the drawer or sucking the clean cups onto her cute little face ... but she's a work in progress!

Ashley is a slow-waker-upper in the mornings which often results in her laying sideways on the kitchen bench.  In the middle of breakfast.  One minute we are all eating together and the next minute I look across the table and Ashley has disappeared.  A quick peek under the table reveals our little missy slumped over, eyes part-way closed and sucking on her finger.  "Sit up, please."  She moans and groans and pulls herself up to a sitting position.  Propping her head on her hand she starts in on her cereal again with a sigh.  As soon as she is vertical again, Lydia takes her cue to get horizontal!  But she's happy and giggling.  She stretches out next to Ashley and pokes her sister in the hiney with her pointy toes.  "Sit up, please."  That goofy monkey peeks above the table to see if I'm serious and then quickly plops herself in from of her own cereal.  Just in time, because Ashley is headed back to being prone!

At the dinner table, Ashley is our cautious eater.  She doesn't jump into eating different foods very readily.  She is much more comfortable with the old faithfuls:  tacos, pasta, hamburgers.  But ... she is willing to have her three required bites.  The same night that Lydia had such glowing compliments about the pumpkin soup, Ashley was equally unexcited.  She did have her three bites, however, and even voluntarily ate a few additional spoonfuls later on in the meal.  Her obedience in at least trying unfamiliar dishes is a great model for Lydia.  As our littlest monkey watches Ashley grimace through her mandatory bites, she is more willing to follow suit ... same bites and same grimace!

Our big monkeys are showing our littlest monkey how life works in even more ways than just around the kitchen table.  In light of that truth, I can honestly say that I am RELIEVED that we laid the foundation with our older kids about what is expected in behavior and attitude.  They teach Lydia more in one day through their actions and conduct than I am able to do in my efforts of endless visits, talking-to's and time-outs.  Whew!

In reality we are all participating in this game of Monkey See, Monkey Do.  We watch the people in our circle of influence and we mimic things they say and do.  And then we turn around and realize that someone is watching us ... and doing and saying what we say and do.  This fact makes my heart hammer ... and I can only hope that whatever I'm doing is worth imitating!

The apostle Paul was a proponent of Monkey See, Monkey Do ... as long as the model was Jesus.  He committed his life to following Jesus' model for life and in his letters he repeatedly challenged his readers to do the same.

¹⁷ Join together in following my example, brothers and sisters, and just as you have us as a model, keep your eyes on those who live as we do. (Philippians 3:17)


Not just because it was the right thing to do, but because this right way of life results in blessings and fullness.  We can choose the people we want to emulate by looking at their lives and seeing if the evidence of their faith confirms the rightness of their life.  It's a circle of rightness!


⁷ Remember your leaders, who spoke the word of God to you. Consider the outcome of their way of life and imitate their faith. (Hebrews 13:7)

What are you seeing?
What are you doing?
Does your life reflect your faith?

Day 1:  Mom in the Midst

Day 2:  My Button is Lame

Day 3:  Splendidly Lavish

Day 4:  Keeping My Head Above Water

Day 5:  Time-Warp Wednesday ~ Little Me

Day 6:  Me, Myself & I

Day 7:  Food For Though ~ Bacon

Day 8:  The Aches and Pains of Service

Day 9:  I Heart You

Day 10:  Who is Me? {part 1}

Day 11:  Who is Me? {part 2}

Day 12:  Who is Me?  {part 3}

Day 13:  Handmade with Care

Day 14:  Food For Thought ~ Carmel & Apples

Day 15:  A Bunch of Rocks

Day 16:  Not Recycled ... Redeemed

Day 17:  What Do You Do?

Day 18:  Washed on the Delicate Cycle

Day 19:  Know Thy Limits

Day 20:  One Snapshot ~ Many Stories

Day 21:  Food For Thought ~ Malt-O-Meal

Day 22:  Cartwheeling for Jesus

Day 23:  Take a Load Off

Day 24:  Listen!  Do You Smell Something?

Day 25:  Dinner Time!

Day 26:  Where Did It Go?

Day 27:  I'm on the Hunt

Day 28:  Food For Thought ~ Milk, It Does the Body Good

Day 29:  Oops. I Missed It.
Day 30:  Monkey See, Monkey Do

Food For Thought ~ Malt-O-Meal

On a recent grocery shopping trip, I wandered down the breakfast aisle ... looking for something different to offer the kids in the morning.  We get in a breakfast rut around here during the week.

Cereal?
Toast?
Bagel?
Cereal?
Yogurt?
Granola?
Cereal?
Zucchini bread?
... Cereal?

Honestly, the kids don't seem to mind, but I am bored with our breakfast options.  Maybe that's why weekends are so sweet ... because Brett, my breakfast big shot, is the one in our house who makes breakfast:  muffins, waffles, pancakes, scrambled eggs, coffee cake.  Yum!

But Monday morning, we're back to ... cereal?  Toast?  Bagel?  Cereal?

In light of this morning conundrum, I was thrilled when I came across an old favorite that had the potential to become a new favorite.

Growing up, we didn't eat oatmeal.  In my mind it was sticky, gooey and pasty.  (Now that Brett makes me oatmeal, however, I am enjoying the sweet and creamy potential of oatmeal ... with a few raisins sprinkled in for a treat!)  No ... we were a Malt-O-Meal family.  And now the Kellum kids can stake that claim, too!

A smidgen of brown sugar and a splash of milk.

With the first bowlfuls of this creamy-wheaty hot cereal, Aaron and Norah claimed it as, "The most delicious thing they'd ever tasted."  Do you need a more powerful stamp of approval than that?!  Ashley and Lydia have been slowly warming up to the dish, but the big kids scrape their bowls clean and ask for seconds.  While they were filling their bellies, I took the opportunity to fill their hearts.

As we sat at the breakfast table enjoying our mugs o' Malt-O-Meal, we read in our Jesus Calling devotion book about Jesus being our Strength and our Song.  We talked about the power of music and how the worship songs that we know can be prayers back to God.  We talked about how much we need God to help us through the day and how He promises to be our Strength.  We talked about how sometimes we need God, but we feel like we don't know what to pray.  In those times we can remember a Jesus-song that we like and in singing the words, we might find that God's promises are nestled there with the purpose of encouraging us.  It was a sweet visit with my kids about the inevitable daily needs we have and the practical ways to seek God.

As the hustle and bustle of the morning began, I was grateful for these few quiet minutes with my kids to pray together and start the day with Jesus as our focus.  By reading about the truths and promises about Jesus first thing in the morning, we are tuning "the orchestra" for the rest of the day!

³ In the morning, LORD, you hear my voice; 
   in the morning I lay my requests before you 
   and wait expectantly. (Psalm 5:3)


I hope that in the same way we have taught our kids about the importance of starting the day with their bellies filled with a good breakfast, they are also learning about the importance of starting their day with their hearts full of Jesus!  And what fun it is to spend the day watching and waiting to see how God works out the kinks, provides His strength and blesses our efforts!


I hope you started this morning with something yummy in your tummy and something hardy for your heart.  And if you didn't, no problem ... you can start again.

Right now. :)

Day 1:  Mom in the Midst

Day 2:  My Button is Lame

Day 3:  Splendidly Lavish

Day 4:  Keeping My Head Above Water

Day 5:  Time-Warp Wednesday ~ Little Me

Day 6:  Me, Myself & I

Day 7:  Food For Though ~ Bacon

Day 8:  The Aches and Pains of Service

Day 9:  I Heart You

Day 10:  Who is Me? {part 1}

Day 11:  Who is Me? {part 2}

Day 12:  Who is Me?  {part 3}

Day 13:  Handmade with Care

Day 14:  Food For Thought ~ Carmel & Apples

Day 15:  A Bunch of Rocks

Day 16:  Not Recycled ... Redeemed

Day 17:  What Do You Do?

Day 18:  Washed on the Delicate Cycle

Day 19:  Know Thy Limits

Day 20:  One Snapshot ~ Many Stories

Day 21:  Food For Thought ~ Malt-O-Meal

Know Thy Limits

Yesterday I shared a bit about the tapped-out, zapped-out, worn-out state I was in last Friday.  But I also shared about how God took advantage of my 40 minutes of monotonous desert driving to speak to my soul, wash me clean and prepare my heart to learn a little something.

One thing I learned was about the dangers of my freakishly high standards that I set for myself.  And how they aren't helping me at all.  Quite clearly God addressed this issue with a mere three words pressed into my heart:  "Know thy limits."  I don't know that He actually used the Old King's English term, "thy", but the truth was so profound, it seemed to me that it needed such honor and respect!

As I laid in bed on Sunday morning, trying to sleep in because I could and finding that I couldn't, my thoughts wandered to the list of to-do's for the upcoming week.  Being genetically hard-wired to plan, I sometimes can't help it, but on this particular morning, I didn't want to think about the tasks ahead.  Deep in my heart, I wanted to marinate in the stillness of not having to do anything ... but it's hard to fight those genes!

As I began to mull over the school activities for the week, the extracurricular events in the evenings, the beginning of watching Baby S full-time,  and the party preparations for Norah's eighth birthday, I felt my shoulders tightening.  Knowing that all those extra parts of life would be sprinkled throughout the usual demands of the day made my heart-rate speed up a bit and I felt myself headed back to that slippery slope of stress.

"Know thy limits."

I reached for my journal and turned to the back page.  Being a genetically inclined list-maker, I made five columns:  God, Brett, Kids, House, Me.  I figured if I could get on paper all the needs and responsibilities, maybe I could order them in a way that would fit into my life.  Into the hours I have in a day.  Into the amount of strength my mortal body contains.

Strangely enough, when I finished my lists, there really wasn't that much there.

• Times of study and prayer fell under God's column.  Simple enough.

• Carving out down-time and just-us-time was in Brett's column.  With a few baked treats thrown in for fun.

• The kids had more, of course, but it appeared manageable.  A few extra needs each day, perhaps, but they seemed to be scattered throughout the week.

• The weekly chores around the house threatened to take on a life of it's own.  But again I had to remind myself that I'm not cleaning the house from top to bottom on a daily basis.  I can deliberately delegate chores to able-bodied little people who live here and the rest will get done eventually.

• And then there was me.  I don't really need much either.  Some free-time and some scheduled time to take care of church and MOPS responsibilities.  Time to write and read.  And maybe a home spa treat from time to time.

"Great.  You know what is on the table.  Now ... know thy limits."

The reality is that I can't do all of it and I can't be everything everyone needs, but I can do a good job of a few things.  The challenge is remembering that there will always be needs, there will always be things to get done, there will always be lists ... but I can't burn myself out trying to tackle them all.  And especially not all at the same time!

Here's a snapshot of me not knowing my limits:

Over the past several weeks, I have been feeling so stressed in the mornings.  We hustle and bustle and sometimes tussle right up until it iss time to blaze out the door for school.  We have a routine to keep:  getting dressed, eating breakfast, family Bible time, brushing teeth, brushing hair, washing faces, packing backpacks, finding shoes, grabbing sweatshirts ... and hopefully doing it all with smiles on our faces.  Then Mommy looks around the house and decides to squeeeeze in just one (or two ... or three) more things:  sort laundry, quick phone calls, tidying up bedrooms, dinner prep, wash dishes ... and suddenly the smiles are gone and there is more tussling than bustling!

Unfortunately, those feelings of being frazzled and frustrated at a too full morning would follow me through my morning and sometimes into my afternoon.  Yuck.  And my kids could feel it, too.  Double-yuck.  And Brett had to hear about it.  Triple-yuck.

As I laid there on Sunday morning, I experienced a mini-epiphany:  I am limited.  And it's okay.

The fact is that I am merely a person ... unlike God.

Here is a mind-blowing verse about God's boundless energy, unlimited resources and fathomless ability to keep all the planets spinning, stars shining, sun blazing.  And keep humanity's needs met, fears quieted, hope alive.  And keep my family's pantry filled, hearts learning, days joyful.  And keep my soul filled, tears dried, wisdom growing.  While I can barely get my housecleaning done!

¹⁷ Now to the King eternal, immortal, invisible, limitless, boundless, infinite, endless, the only God, be honor and glory for ever and ever. Amen. (1 Timothy 1:17, expounding mine)

This week I am trying hard, in the midst of the busy-ness of flu shots, football games, birthday parties, school music programs and inevitable laundry, to "know mine limits" while still tapping into God's inexhaustible strength and immeasurable grace.  What a better place that is to be ... within my own human boundaries ... and with a smile on my face.

What about you?
Do you "know thy limits"?
Are you living within them?

Day 1:  Mom in the Midst

Day 2:  My Button is Lame

Day 3:  Splendidly Lavish

Day 4:  Keeping My Head Above Water

Day 5:  Time-Warp Wednesday ~ Little Me

Day 6:  Me, Myself & I

Day 7:  Food For Though ~ Bacon

Day 8:  The Aches and Pains of Service

Day 9:  I Heart You

Day 10:  Who is Me? {part 1}

Day 11:  Who is Me? {part 2}

Day 12:  Who is Me?  {part 3}

Day 13:  Handmade with Care

Day 14:  Food For Thought ~ Carmel & Apples

Day 15:  A Bunch of Rocks

Day 16:  Not Recycled ... Redeemed

Day 17:  What Do You Do?

Day 18:  Washed on the Delicate Cycle

Day 19:  Know Thy Limits