Showing posts with label Marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Marriage. Show all posts

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

small things {vitamins}





small things #29 ... vitamins

Today Brett and I celebrate our 14th wedding anniversary.  

And we still really, really like each other.  Still the bestest friends.  Still choosing time together over any other options.  Still laughing at the same silly jokes.

It's easy for me to take this easy-going and satisfying friendship for granted ... until I come face to face with the reality of someone else's marriage on the rocks.  My heart aches as I sit around a MOPS table and hear the hardness and sadness of a marriage straining and suffering.  I shake my head in bewilderment as I read headlines about some celebrity's marriage being annulled after a mere 72 days.  I'm without words as I hear one of my kids tell me about a classmate whose parents are divorcing.  Again.

What are we doing differently?  Better?  What words of encouragement or insight do I have to offer?

I could jump in and say something about how God is at the center of our marriage.  And that would be true.

I could declare that we try to have date nights and time for just the two of us.  Also true.

I could point out that we do our best to be nice to each other ... thinking before we speak or act.  True again.

I could say that we still seek each other out to enjoy our mutual interests ... movies, games, walks.  More truth.

But I think one important aspect of our marriage would be found in a single act.

Doling out one another's nightly vitamins.

The simplicity of this act of service is almost ridiculous and yet ... this moment of serving sums up our attitudes toward one another.  This simple act is one of many throughout the day that brings security and stability to our busy (and often chaotic) days.

Here.  
Let me help you.  
Let me do this one thing that says, "I love you."  
Let me think of you as I go about this mundane task.

With one twist of those child-proof caps, we are turning the ordinary routine of heading to bed into something sacred.  

Vitamins ... evidence of a commitment to good health.  
And to serving each other.

Thursday, December 22, 2011

It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas

The kids moved the snowflake in the advent calendar.  And Surprise! ... It's December 22nd.  Just a few more hours until we get to open all those goodies under the tree and see what treasures we've been given this year!

Fourteen years and two days ago, I was still giggly and smiley about a gift I received from one of my most favoritist people in the whole world!

I remember that Brett came over to pick me up for the first leg of my journey home for Christmas.  We were headed to his folks' house in Boulder and then we would head down to Ridgway for Christmas with my family.  I made us lunch and when we prayed together, I noticed Brett's hands were ice cold (a condition I now know to be associated with extreme nervousness), but he played it off as the result of loading up the car.  After carrying my bags to his Subaru, we got ready to leave, but Brett said he had left his coat in the house.  As we walked back into the kitchen, he took my hand and invited me to walk down the hall to the living room.  My heart suddenly started hammering!  Without saying a word, I knew something big was happening.

We sat down by the Christmas tree and he pulled out a plastic bucket with circus pictures on the outside.  I recognized it immediately as a memento from our first date ... fifteen or so couples all going to the circus in Denver together.

As he opened the bucket, he began pulling out ticket stubs and keepsakes of our years dating.  With each little souvenir, he recounted how each event and activity with me had captured his heart.  A tender walk down memory lane from Brett's perspective.

And there at the bottom of the circus bucket was a little box.

With that little ring and that little question and that little, "yes", I was the recipient of the best Christmas present ever!



I could never hope to list all of the blessings of being Brett's bride, but here are a few that come to mind ...

Spending my days with my very best friend ~ and wishing that pesky work didn't take him away,
Four fantastic kids that fill our days ~ and give us lots to talk and laugh about later,
The bliss of "just the two of us" evenings after the kids are in bed ~ sometimes just to be quiet,
Sharing the same love of quirky TV shows ~ Ed, Arrested Development, Community, 30 Rock, Psych, to name few,
Laughing at the same lines in our favorite movies ~ "Oooh, would we say that?",
A game playing buddy ~ Gin Rummy, Cribbage, Yahtzee ... and only if absolutely necessary, Trivial Pursuit,
Amazing in-laws ~ truly a second family,
Someone who gets me ~ and doesn't question when sudden laughter or tears flow in unexpected moments,
Inside jokes, winks and knee grabs under the table ~ no words necessary, and
Patience, patience, patience ~ and patience, oh my!

I was hard-pressed to find a Christmas song for this Musical Christmas Count-Down today that would paint a picture for you about this most amazing gift.  Strangely enough, there is no holiday song that sings the virtues of a man willing to get up in the middle of the night to help the little person declaring, "My bed messy."  Neither could I find a Christmas tune that sings about the wonders of a husband who will bring a glass of wine to his wife as a surprise when she gets out of her one shower of the week at 9 o'clock on a Tuesday night.

But here's a familiar song about the desire we each have to receive the best present ever ... the gift that they've always wanted:

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas
Ev'rywhere you go;
Take a look in the five and ten glistening once again
With candy canes and silver lanes aglow.

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas
Toys in ev'ry store
But the prettiest sight to see is the holly that will be
On your own front door.

A pair of hopalong boots and a pistol that shoots
Is the wish of Barney and Ben;
Dolls that will talk and will go for a walk
Is the hope of Janice and Jen;
And Mom and Dad can hardly wait for school to start again.

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas
Ev'rywhere you go;
There's a tree in the Grand Hotel, one in the park as well,
The sturdy kind that doesn't mind the snow.

It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas; 
Soon the bells will start,
And the thing that will make them ring is the carol that you sing
Right within your heart.


(As kid, I would have loved to have a doll that could talk and go for a walk ... and now I have four!)

Truly this sweet marriage is gift from God.

Neither Brett or I alone could redeem this friendship to be a rewarding and renewing, sensible and satisfying, edifying and enjoyable marriage.  If left to our own devices, selfishness and general crabbiness would run amok!  And you can't buy this intimacy and contentment at the "five and ten" either.  No indeed.  This friendship is straight from God.

We are both most assuredly the joyful recipients of the best gift ever.  Thank You, God!

And as for this Christmas, my gift request would be for You to please help us to keep loving each well ... and forgiving often ... and extending grace ... and being friends.
_____________________________


Prompt #2 ~ Best gift ever.  Evvvooore.

Mama’s Losin’ It

Monday, May 16, 2011

13 of My Favorite Things

Today is a good day.  And that's in spite of it being a full-speed-ahead, hang-on-to-your-hats, go-go-go-til-bedtime Monday ... 

Today is my Sweetie and my 13th anniversary!  

Thirteen years ago we said, "I do", smooched a bit (okay ... a lot), smiled for hundreds of pictures, danced several dances and headed off on an adventure!  

And now 13 years later ... we're so glad we said, "I do" and daily seek ways to "do" things for one another, we still smooch a lot (much our kids' mixed responses), we take less pictures of us and more of our brood, we sneak a few quick dances in the kitchen and find ourselves speeding along on an adventure that wears us out and thrills us at the same time!

Today I want to press pause on the wild ride that is marriage and family and share 13 of my favorite snapshots of being married to my one true love ... if I can keep it to 13, that is!

13.  Inside jokes from our favorite TV shows ... "And that's why you don't yell!"
12.  Repeated giggles from our favorite movies ... "Sometimes their noses are horns."
11.  Guaranteed kisses during the day ... actually, from five different smoochers.
10.  Praying together ... and being prayed for.
9.  Playing Progressive Rummy when the kids are asleep ... or Yahtzee, Sands, Fluxx, etc.  I think we are pretty even in the win/loss department.
8.  Our four fantastic/wonderful/exhausting/distinctive/precious/ beautiful kids ... the "fruit" of our youth.
7.  Running away for dinner without the monkeys ... and trying not to talk about them, either!
6.  Family vacations with the monkeys ... making memories and starting traditions ... and solidifying our love of hotel elevators.
5.  Being the recipient of Brett's generous heart ... he gives good gifts!  He always knocks my socks off, most recently with tickets to see Les Mis this September!  "I Dreamed a Dream ..."
4.  Being the recipient of Brett's funny heart ... he has a great sense of humor, too.  I have a cast photo from "Ed" hanging in my laundry room, keeping me company while I scrub out grass stains.
3.  Being a part of such a great parenting-team ... training, disciplining, laughing and using "Rock, Paper, Scissors" for the hard stuff.
2.  Cuddling.
1.  Having my bestestest friend also be my hubby.

So young ... and, we are still smiling!

I love you, Sweetie!  xxoo