What's In a Name?

I am reading through J.R.R. Tolkien's "The Hobbit" with my boy.

Uhm.  Correction:  We were reading "The Hobbit" together, but then Aaron finished it and now I am just trying to finish strong.

Who knew that this classic would grab my son by his knobby little shoulders and take over his life for two weeks?  I'm absolutely thrilled (it sure beats the anime-addiction he was suffering from this Spring), but at the same time I was a bit surprised by his voracious appetite for the adventures of Middle Earth.

For those of you frightened off by the thousands of pages to push through in the Lord of the Rings trilogy, this novel is the prequel.  It tells of the first adventure of dear ol' Bilbo Baggins - headed off with a company of dwarves to recover their ancient treasure from the fierce and fiery dragon Smaug.  And it's the perfect starter book for those who love tall tales told well.

Tolkien is at once a storyteller, poet and master wordsmith.  He weaves a story overflowing with terrible danger, daring rescues, three foot-tall heroes and monstrous villains.  The world that he creates is strange and vast ... and as real as the neighborhood outside my front door.  Within moments of entering into Bilbo's home under the hill, the Shire, Mirkwood Forest and the Lonely Mountain come alive with strange creatures, ancient histories and beautiful languages.  And at the turn of every page, we are transported to Middle Earth and join Bilbo and Company as they trek along in search of their treasure.

Without giving too much away (because I know that you are going to read it now!) I wanted to share with you a passage that I read last night.  Bilbo is fulfilling his role as Burglar and with the help of his mysterious ring that turns him invisible, he has snuck down into the lair of Smaug ... for the second time.  The first time he snitched a golden goblet and Smaug, being your typical dragon, knew exactly what was missing the moment he awoke from his evening nap.  In his fury he hunts down the Thief but because of Bilbo's own craftiness, Smaug is left searching in vain.  During Bilbo's return to the dragon's lair, we read this curious interaction:

"Truly songs and tales fall utterly short of the reality, O Smaug the Chiefest and Greatest of Calamites," replied Bilbo.
"You have nice manners for a thief and a liar," said the dragon.  "You seem familiar with my name, but I don't seem to remember smelling you before.  Who are you and where do you come from, may I ask?"
"You may indeed!  I come from under the hill, and under the hills and over the hills my paths led.  And through the air, I am he that walks unseen."
"So I can well believe," said Smaug, "but that is hardly your usual name."
"I am the clue-finder, the web-cutter, the stinging fly.  I was chosen for the lucky number."
"Lovely titles!" sneered the dragon. "But lucky numbers don't always come off."
"I am he that buries his friends alive and drowns them and draws them alive again from the water.  I came from the end of a bag, but no bag went over me."
"These don't sound so creditable," scoffed Smaug.
"I am the friend of bears and the guest of eagles.  I am Ringwinner and Luckwearer; and I am Barrel-rider," went on Bilbo beginning to be pleased with his riddling.

If you are familiar with the story, you know that Bilbo gives Smaug much more than his name.  He recounts his adventures over the past eight months including his terrifying trip in the grips of a giant eagle, his trip down the elven river atop a barrel-raft and, of course, his pitch-black battle of wits with the horrid Gollum, during which he won the mysterious ring.  This "riddling" reveals more of Bilbo's identity than just his mere name would.  These descriptions reveal what his life has looked like.

In the same way, I often find myself forgoing the use of my given name for titles and names that describe my life.  On any given day, I go by ...

• Sunny-side Up Egg Maker, 
• Plate & Pot Scrubber, 
• Super Sock Sorter, 
• Toddler Wrangler, 
• Pig-n-a-Poke Dresser, 
• Hair Snaggle Detangler, 
• Sibling Referee, 
• Eat Your Veggies Broken Record,
• "Bummer Dude" Discipline Giver,
• Minutest Achievement Cheerleader,
• Action-figure Itty-Bitty Gun Locater, 
• Don't Bite Me Floss Helper, 
• Cuddle Up Book Reader,
• Get Back Into Bed Shepherd, and
• Back In The Saddle Again Mama.

To name a few.  And there are many more that are not related to Mommying.

Of course, these titles don't actually describe who I am, but what I do.  From these titles you can get a pretty good picture of my day to day life and what my role as Mom looks like.  You can also infer from this list of names my love for my children and my passion for creating a haven for my family.  So while I typically shy away from labels, these monikers reveal more about me than my birth name would.

We can do a similar name study of God and discover His role in our lives and His enduring character.  Here are a few titles to get you started:

• Redeemer ~ Making Us New (Job 19:25)
• Bread of Life ~ Our Sustainer (John 6:35)
• Counselor ~ Guide & Help (Isaiah 9:6)
• Faithful & True ~ Dependable (Revelation 19:11)
• Abba ~ Our Daddy (Romans 8:15)
• Great Shepherd ~ Protector (Hebrews 13:20)
• Rock ~ Our Foundation (1 Corinthians 10:4)
• Author of Life ~ Our Beginning (Acts 3:15)
• Immanuel ~ God With Us (Isaiah 7:14)
• Living Water ~ Satisfying Our Spiritual Thirst (John 4:10)
• Potter ~ Molding Us Daily (Isaiah 64:8)
• Vine ~ Our Life Line (John 15:5)

With every page in God's Bible, we see another description of our Heavenly Father.  In much the same way that Tolkien wove together a picture of Bilbo and his warrior spirit, God paints us a picture of Himself.  Through God's Word we discover His strength, love, compassion, mercy and power.

Unlike Bilbo, however, God is not a creation or a character in a book.  He is real and Faithful & True.

Polynesia

The other day I was in the basement waiting to put my little Ashley down for her nap.  As I sat there, I surveyed the disaster zone ... toys strewn haphazardly around the floor, doll legs hanging out of the dress-up bin, a half-built race track dangling from the bookshelf, PlayMobile people scattered across the carpet like a long line of refugees looking for asylum and the play kitchen devoid of all food paraphernalia because it's in a heap on the floor.  Sigh ... and a mental note to do some serious purging down there! 


Ashley was taking an inordinately long time to join me downstairs, so I took advantage of a few minutes to tidy several bins.  Underneath a purple, feather-fringed cape I found a blow-up beach ball globe.  I knew the kids had been looking for this (and they never would have thought to look there!) so I set it beside me to take back upstairs.


Still waiting for Ashley ... doo-dee-doo ... 


I glanced over at the globe on the futon beside me and the bold letters "Polynesia" caught my eye.  It stretched across a large portion of the Pacific Ocean and dotted here and there among the letters were little islands.  According to this globe, those islands didn't have names, they just belonged to "Polynesia" and that struck me as puzzling.


About then Ashley finally dawdled downstairs and snuggled into her bed.  I tucked her in and then tucked the beach ball under my arm and headed upstairs for my own quiet time.  But that word "P-o-l-y-n-e-s-i-a" stretched across all that water and all those islands and all those people was still kind of pestering me.


Here's what Merriam-Webster has to say about it:


Polynesia |ˌpäləˈnē zh ə|a region of the central Pacific Ocean that lies east of Micronesia and Melanesia and contains the easternmost of the three large groups of Pacific islands, including Hawaii, the Marquesas Islands, Samoa, the Cook Islands, and French Polynesia


That's a lot of territory for just one little word.  I would imagine that there are a lot of people on those islands that have a lot more to say about themselves.  I imagine that they have individual names, unique cultures, distinct traditions and their own remarkable identities.  And they would probably appreciate being recognized for their individuality and their uniqueness.  Instead of being glomped all together.


And maybe that's why that globe struck me like it did.  Because ... I know that I'm not much different in that respect.  I don't much appreciate when I am assigned to a broad, generalized category like:  Mom, Christian or Woman.  I am a unique individual and I like it that way.


I have carved out my identity as a mom and while I can relate to other moms, I'm not just like all the other moms.  We each have our own tricks of the trade and our own challenges and our own perspectives about the "rights and wrongs" of parenting.  Each of us faces the challenges of discovering what works for our family:  spanking or time out; homeschool or public school or private school; mac-n-cheese or whole grain noodles with red sauce; sleep with mom or sleep with stuffy; The Wiggles or Veggie Tales; and breastfeeding or bottles ... just to name a few!  I love to lend encouragement and, when asked, advice.  And I appreciate hearing from other moms and gaining insight into how they handle challenges and celebrate milestones.  But I get to choose what my Mommy-Identity looks like and it looks different than those around me.


I have also embraced my identity as a Christian ... but I know that my spiritual life looks different than other Christians around me.  This is one area of labeling that really bothers me because it's such a personal aspect of life.  I will make many choices for myself that are not spelled out word for word in the Bible.  And it's important for me to not pass judgement on others because they choose not to do things different than me.  


I also don't like to be clumped together with other Christians when they speak their minds ... especially when they shouldn't have.  When I hear about a church leader making a brash statement that wouldn't have come out of Jesus' mouth, I cringe.   I don't want to be associated with that sort of yuck, and yet so often that un-Jesus-like comment gets attributed to the group as a whole and it makes me want to come up with a different name just for me & Jesus! :)  In truth, that is just the way it is (what with us none of us being perfect) and my responsibility is to live my life in such a way that is above reproach and try to be a better reflection of who Jesus really is and what He would really say and do.


I have also accepted my identity as a woman ... and not a size 2 woman, but me.  I am so tired of feeling like I need to measure up by being several sizes smaller.  Nothing puts me in a sour mood quicker than going clothes shopping and finding myself grumbling about the emaciated mannequins wearing, as Liz Lemon would say, "A Vietnamese, size 2" and then being less than thrilled when I see the same top on a normal-sized person.  That would be me.  I'd be the normal-sized person. :)  Those letters (S, M, L) and numbers (10, 12, 14, 16) are not my identity ... they are sizes arbitrarily assigned to a pair of pants!


Whew ... sorry about that.  I got a little worked up there! :)  That just really irks me.  


ahem ... where was I?


Oh yes ... I am a woman.  And I am uniquely made.  I have my own interests, my own sense of humor, my own passions, my own anxieties, my own quirks ... just the way God made me.  And I don't want to feel like I should apologize for those differences or try to be like anyone else.  I am not cookie-cutter made.  And I'm not a nameless person in a sea of people.  I'm me.


I understand that on a little plastic beach ball globe, you can't list Pukapuka, Funafuti or Manihiki ... or all the other hundreds of islands found there ... but I can try to look past that little label to see the life-sized people living there with their own quirks and personalities!

Label Maker

Last year for Mother's Day, I got a label maker.  And I squealed with joy.  And maybe did a little happy dance.

I'm quite certain that the kids were a bit astonished and maybe a tad bit anxious about my enthusiasm for this new little gadget.  Daddy had picked it out ... after a number of persistent hints.  So, when I unwrapped my little green and white mommy-organizing-tool, I was thrilled, Brett was relieved ... and the kids were puzzled.

"What is it?"

"Ooohhhh ... it's a Label Maker!!  I've always wanted one of these!"

I then went on to describe the little machine and all the wonderful ways that it would help us to get organized.  The kids caught my label making-fever and we got right to work.

We headed to the kitchen and labeled the boxes of crayons, markers, stamps and miscellaneous school stuff.  Then the kids brought down some of their bins and boxes from their bedrooms and we labeled them, too.  By the end, we had labeled Lydia's diaper drawer, "Godzlydia's Diapers" and the plastic bins in the kitchen, "Sugar", "Flour" and "Brown Sugar".  I could feel my home and all it's parts falling into place.

Over the past year, we have put my label maker to good use:  school supplies, play kitchen drawers, baby doll dresser and the Barbie bin.  While I'm not sure that we a more organized :) we certainly know where things SHOULD go.  Everything does have a place ... sometimes they just don't quite make it there.  We are a work in progress, for certain.

A few weeks ago, I attended a conference and my penchant for labeling came up again ... but in a different context.  As part of the conference, there was a husband and wife team that spoke.  Prior to their talk, I browsed through the printed program and read through the short biography about the couple.

They looked nice in the picture.
They had plenty of degrees in their list of references.
They had a website to visit later.

They also had a new-fangled catch-phrase for their ministry:  "to help others be appropriately human".

Whatever that means.

I chocked it up to the never-ending attempt by writers and speakers to re-invent simple Biblical truths to make them sound new and fresh again.  Perhaps with the intent to help.  Perhaps with the intent to make a few bucks.

"Aw well ... we'll see what they have to say," I thought as the lights dimmed and the introductions began.

First the wife came out and with her sweet sense of humor and transparency, I warmed up to the idea of hearing more from her.  Then her husband came out.  He was gentle in his tone and was deliberate in his speaking.  And you could tell that they both really enjoyed speaking together.  My initial impressions started to fade away as I could see their sincerity and their desire to speak truth to their audience.

The topic of their talk was centered on the idea that we are each image-bearers of God.  But, because of the legacy of sin passed down since Adam and Eve, our mirror that reflects God is broken and we pass on a fractured reflection of God.  Then came the words that stopped me in my notes ...

Because of our fractured state and our failure to truthfully reflect God, we also struggle to see others as they truly are on the inside.  When we see someone who is different than us (which is everyone!) we take our first impression, jump to a conclusion regarding them and ...

slap a label on them.

For example, maybe you are going to a conference and you read in the program about the upcoming speaker and you read something about them that you don't fully understand and so instead of giving them an opportunity to tell you about themselves, you label them as, "Latest Bandwagon Jumpers."  You know ... something like that. :)

The speakers went on to flesh this idea out further.  Here are a few of the quotes that I jotted down:

• Our personality/tendencies/giftings put us in "people boxes" which are then duct taped tightly with labels. 
• There is no need to go through a box that is properly labeled ... there is no need to get to know a person we have stamped with our own descriptive word.
• Remember that we are each human with a human story ... peel off the label and discover who they are.

As I sat there, I was suddenly convicted of the hundreds upon hundreds of times that I have done just that to the people I come in contact with.  I've Judged, Packaged, Labelled and Shelved.  Nice and tidy ... but not very conducive to building friendships.

Let me give you a few other examples:

Let's just say that there is this particular person that I interact with who micro-manages everything.  Let's call him/her, "Nit-Picker".  I have properly labelled said person ... only to discover that he/she is actually very responsible and has a high expectation of the work that he/she does.  And he/she answers to other people for his/her work and so he/she feels doubly responsible for the work done.  Hmm ... better pull that label off.

Or perhaps I see a mom at our MOPS meeting who has it all together:  fashionable clothing, actual jewelry and a nifty carrying case for her piping hot casserole she baked this morning.  I'll label her, "SuperMom".  But upon sitting together at a table I discover that she and her husband are having marital problems and she's just barely keeping it together.  She feels scared and alone.  I have to carefully remove that label and listen to her fragile heart.

Then there is the kid in my son's class.  The one who is always in trouble.  The one who always seems to be in his own little world.  The one who seems to have a bit of an obsession with Bionicles.  I might label him, "Trouble-Maker".  Then, because my son is tender-hearted and wants this boy to be his friend ("Really?  That little guy?!") I get to know him and he's sweet ... but life is challenging for him.  And my heart is softened as I take off his label and get to know him ... this fellow with a different take on life.

Labels.

They might make my home more organized.  They might help the kids get things in the right places.  They might even keep the craft shelves tidy. (Okay ... maybe not ... but we're on the right track!)

But they have no place in my life when it comes to people.  Here's to freeing all those folks I have stuffed in their "people boxes" and labelled shut ... it's time to really get to know them.
__________________________________________

For more information about the wonderful couple who opened my eyes to my affinity for labelling, check out their website, Soulation.  And you can check out the books I bought while I was there, "Coffee Shop Conversations" and "Ruby Slippers" ... yes, I was that moved by their talk. :)

Hanes, MY Way

This past Sunday, when my Mamma Mia was with us, we decided to head to Subway for lunch following church.  It was a gamble going out at that time ... who knew if we would end up waiting with four hungry, tired, whiney kids?  Gratefully, as we walked in the door we realized that we were the only ones there!  We had beaten the lunch rush and were able to order quickly ... or at least as quickly as 3 indecisive kids can when faced with six types of bread, eight different meats, 4 different cheeses and a variety of toppings! It was kind of a painful experience, but we managed to get our sandwiches and make our exhaustingly meticulous choices for chips and drinks BEFORE the lunch crowd came through the door.  Whew!  We settled into a booth just as the rest of Grand Junction came to eat! :)

As we were sitting and eating and crunching and slurping (most of the crunching and slurping coming from the kids' side of the table) I noticed a lady sitting several seats down from us.  When she got up to refill her drink, I was better able to see her shirt.  It was black with lots of silver and gray swirling designs and at the top in calligraphy it read, "Sinful".  Now ... I'm sure that I am going to show you just how fashion conscience I'm NOT because I'm sure it's some famous brand, but I thought to myself, "Of all the things I could have written on my shirt ... I wouldn't want that to be one of them."

Now, I have inherited my people-watching skills from my mom, so I was certain to point out this interesting t-shirt to her.  And so began a giggling fit about what we would have on our shirts ... or better yet, what would other people suggest should be on ours.  If only we had our own line of clothing ... then you could buy one of our shirts with the following lines:

"Unbalanced"

"Tired"

"Clueless"

"Stubborn"

"Indecisive"

"Happy-Go-Lucky"

"Half-Baked"

"Pooped"

"Unstable"
"Overwhelmed"

"Well-adjusted"

"Prepared"

"Reluctant"

"Slothful"
"Perplexed"

"Diligent"

"Difficult"

"Tenacious"
"Myopic"

"Flimsy"

"Hazardous"

"Attentive"

... I think you get the idea.

There are somethings we would want on our shirts:  Delightful, Sympathetic  and Cooperative. While there are other words that, while they would be honest ... they are not necessarily something you want broadcasted across your chest.  I would be hard-pressed to wear a true but tortuous shirt with the words Feeble, Droning or Needy on it.  Really?  Who wants that as a constant reminder?!?  Who wants a perfect stranger walking up to them and asking, "So, uh ... You are really Scatterbrained, huh?"

I am almost completely okay with close friends and family being aware of my shortcomings and flaws.  I figure they know me pretty well and can see my life from the outside of me, so they are often a good reflection of who I really am.  And seeing as they love me, I know that that they won't try to hurt me with those painful discoveries.  It helps that I also know their limitations and faults, so we are on an even playing field. :)  The other good part of having good friends and loving family is that they also help us to see our good qualities and our strengths.  When we can see ourselves through the loving and generous eyes of our loved ones, I think we get a much better picture of who we truly are.

Sara Groves has a great song about being caught up in who we aren't and needing to get back to our true selves.  Here are her poetic lyrics to "Undone".  It's not quite the same as hearing her sweet voice.

Baby can you help me get undone The party is over and their hearts were won There’s a zipper in the back But I can’t reach it on my own And I am dying to get out of this so Baby will you help me get undone I don’t even remember how I got this on I started out pretending Now I don’t recognize myself And I could use a little help You have no pretenses All your walls are fences I can see right through You have no two faces You know where our place is and that’s why I need you Oh baby Baby will you help me get undone I truly believe you are the only one Who will be the best reminder of Where I am coming from So if you’ll help me now I want to get undone Cause I started out pretending Now I don’t recognize myself And I could use a little help Oh baby, oh baby, oh baby will you help me get undone

I love the idea of my constructed personality being something I could un-zip ... if only it were that easy!

I truly can't leave out one other Person who has a pretty good idea of who I am and loves me in spite of my shortcomings.  Jesus really does love me just as He made me:  Insecure, Controlling and Impatient. He's working on my in those areas, trust me!  But when He looks at me, I know He sees me:  Graceful, Beautiful, Chosen.

What would your t-shirt say today?  Silly, Serious or Sentimental ... I'd love to hear 'em!


I'd like to thank my Thesaurus for help with today's post! :)