small things {thumbs}

small things #65 ... thumbs

"Please take your thumb out of your mouth."

"Thumb, please."

"Sissy ... is your thumb in your mouth?"

"Please don't just pop your other 

thumb in your mouth."

"Thumb out, please."

This is is the current mantra that I should have recorded and embedded into a little button to wear on my shirt to play on an as needed basis.  And right now it's needed.  A lot.

She's my last baby to quit sucking her thumb.  The trouble is that she's no longer a baby.  But she doesn't seem to care and that's the rub.

We've tried an seemingly endless list of tricks and tips to help her stop:  

the yucky tasting stuff - "No problem, Mom, I'll just lick it off."

band-aids on her thumbs - "That's okay.  I'll suck my pinkie instead."

mits to wear at night - "My fingers get sweaty so I take 'em off and tuck 'em under my pillow."

I've talked to her about how no other first graders suck their thumbs to which she responded with a shrug.  And a thumb in her mouth.  And if anyone else (a stranger, perhaps) points out her thumb in her mouth, she smiles past her thumb, slides her hand to her lap and waits for them to walk away.  She just doesn't give a hoot.

She doesn't care and I can't make her care.  It's just another addition to my long laundry list of things I can't make my kids do:

I can't make them eat.

I can't make them go to sleep.

I can't make them poop and pee.
I can't make them have a good attitude.

I can't make them want to do anything.

In my ten years of parenting, I've often thought about how brilliant it would be if my kids were more like robots.  Wouldn't that be easier?  A few little key-strokes and voilà! ...

Tantrum resolved,

Peas eaten,

Bedroom spotless,

Diapers gone,

Attitude adjusted,

Chores finished,

Homework complete,

Thumb liberated.

But in reality they are their own little selves, not robots for me to program and de-bug. ...sigh... 

That brings me to the conclusion that there is something more to the day-in and day-out challenges of parenting than just getting our children to do what we want and act as we want.  We are not simply nipping bad habits and halting annoying quirks.  We are training, disciplining and teaching our little people with the purpose of developing mature and self-disciplined bigger people.

Bigger people who will be smiling, confident, happy, self-controled, non-thumb-sucking adults before we know it!

The key here is prayer - for them and for me.  Prayer for them to navigate this time of growing up and stay close to Jesus.  Prayer for me to love them where they're at and usher them along ... focusing more on their hearts than their habits.  And prayer for a good measure of patience in the middle of it all!

Thumbs ... just one of the many teachable moments in which my kids have taught me.

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#1 - Share something your child taught YOU about parenting.

small things {tidbits)

small things #62 ... tidbits

Before Ashley's first day as a first grader, Aaron and Norah shared a few helpful tidbits with her.  Little nuggets of wisdom that they wish they'd know when started all-day school.

"Be prepared for other kids to ask you, 'What's your name again?', repeatedly." ~ Aaron

"Be sure to take your lunch with you when you leave for recess and you can put it agains the wall." ~ Norah

Listening to them share their pointers with their baby sister brought back to my mind an experience that Aaron had in the first grade.  An experience that was 100% avoidable and yet endured 100%.

---

During the first few days of Aaron's first grade year, he brought home his lunch bag and more often than not, it was filled with used napkins and half-eaten sandwiches.  Being a good mom, I carefully picked these yucky bits out and threw them in the trash, rinsed his lunch bag and set it aside for the next day.

The next afternoon rolled around and this time there was a crumpled napkin, a slimy baggie and a partially eaten apple.  Yuck.

"Hey, buddy.  Can you please throw your trash away?  You don't need to bring it home."

"Okay, Mom."

"Thanks."

The next day I unzipped his lunch bag to find the same miserable mess complete with peanut butter smeared on the inside lid.  Ugh.

"Dude.  I need you to please throw your trash away.  When you are done eating, please throw out all the left-over food and the napkin.  Just bring home any silverware I send and plastic dishes.  Okay?"

"Okay."

The following day, I opened his bag and stepped back in horror!  Not only was there a wadded up napkin, but also a crust of sandwich floating in a sea of warm and slimy yogurt.  The foil lid was pinched over the top of the yogurt cup, but that had not stopped the flow of sour creaminess to coat the entire inside of the lunch bag.  Gag.

"Aaron!  Come here, please!"

I still remember the look on his face while I gruffly told him once more that I needed him to throw away his trash.  I used wonderful words like, "disgusting", "nasty", "rotten" and "awfulness."  I wrapped up this wonderful mothering moment with my jaw clenched as I growled, "Throw. Out. Your. Trash."

At this precise moment, my Aaron-Boy burst into tears and wailed, "I don't know where the trash can is!"

---

.....sigh.....

In light of this teachable moment gone wrong, I turned to my sweet Ashley at the kitchen table and added my two bits, "Please be sure to throw out your trash from your lunch and ask a teacher if you don't know where the trash cans are."

Tidbits ... little bits of instruction that seem so small but in reality they protect us from BIG problems!

small things {courage}

small things #25 ... courage

Standing in the dusty wood chips with one hand resting on my round belly and the other shading my eyes, I peered up at the top of the playground stairs.  Waaaay up at the top, my little fellow perched on the highest stair and looked down at Nana and me through the blue bars.

He looked back and forth between me and the top of the twisty slide.  He had gotten himself that far, but he still looked unsure of himself.  This was by far his highest slide to tackle in all of his 14 short months of adventuring.

The words were on the tip of my tongue.  Be careful.

And that's when my mom spoke up.  Wise words soothing my mommy-heart.

"Don't pass your fears on to him."

It is so easy as a mom to guard and protect our babies from the experiences in life that bring us fear (heights being one of mine!), but which to them pose only a challenge or obstacle to overcome.  Instead, we are wise to teach them caution and awareness while still encouraging them to face new experiences with excitement and courage.

Those six words have echoed back in my heart for the past nine years ...

... look at you climb that rock wall!  Be brave, little man - how much higher can you go?

... performing your floor routine in front of the crowd is thrilling.  You can do it, little cartwheeling star! 

... the first of school is exciting.  Be courageous today ... and seek out someone to whom you can be a friend.

... new foods are an adventure.  Such bravery in eating all those brussels sprouts!

... writing is in your blood.  Have courage and get busy!

God knows the seemingly unending list of fears that I hide in my heart and only God can help me to stem the tide of sharing those worries with my kids.  Be it a fear of creaky, night noises or the anxiety of stepping in front of a crowd to speak, I want stir up bravery in the hearts of my children.

Remembering back to that afternoon at the park, the proud smile on my boy's face as he popped out the end of the tall, twisty slide is all the encouragement I need to remember to stifle my own anxieties and cheer my kiddos on to be courageous!

Thanks, Mom, for your simple words of wisdom!  Smooches!

Courage ... taking on challenges with confidence.  And a lavish dose of encouragement from Mom. 

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Prompt #2 ~Share a lesson you learned from your Mom that sticks with you today.

Hee, Hee! Ha, ha! Snort!

What can I learn from my kids?

Well ...

I could learn from Aaron the importance of starting your day with a good chuckle.  As I creep downstairs in the dark to take on Jillian Michaels and her most current plan to torture me, I can hear my boy cackling in his room.  I can picture him still snuggled in his covers listening to Click and Clack the Tappet Brothers on his MP3 player with a huge sleepy smile on his face.  Ha, ha, ha!

I could learn from Norah the importance of intermittent giggling during breakfast, lunch and dinner.  Whether it's silly faces, ridiculous voices, goofy stories from her day or cracking her new favorite joke, Norah is famous for bring laughter to our kitchen table.  I'm quite certain that is one of the reasons she so long and slender ... she's burning up all those calories as she giggles through her meal.  Hee, hee, hee!

I could learn from Ashley the importance of making others laugh.  I would like to think that Baby S likes us all, but she has a special affinity for LeLe.  And for good reason.  Ashley has absolutely no qualms about acting completely goofy with the sole purpose of getting a squeal out of her surrogate-sissy.  Fifteen minutes of peek-a-boo?  No problem.  Ten minutes of squeaking nonsense words in a high-pitched voice?  You got it!  Of course, hearing this little cutie's cocktails of coo's and cackles brings a smile and snicker to Ashley ... and the rest of us, too.  Hardy-har-har!

I could learn from Lydia the importance of ending my day with some yuk-yuk-yukking.  As we cuddle on my bed for book time, we share our bests and leasts of the day.  Without fail Weeda will mimic Ashley as she talks about her favorite and not-so-favorite moments of her day.  In Ashley's voice.  It would be a little unnerving if it wasn't so funny!  As Ashley hears the echo of her own voice, she gets to giggling and pretty soon those two little goofballs are snorting, snickering and holding their sides.  And so is Mommy.  Tee-hee-hee!

Laughter ... the most important ingredient to every day.  And what I'm learning from kids.  Every day.

A little of that laughter during
Nana's "Don't Go" Game!

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Prompt #2 ~ Things my children can teach me.

Snapshots of the Heart ~ Responsibility

We seem to be experiencing a bit of a Bossy Pants Invasion here in our home.

At any given moment of the day, you can hear a chorus of, "You should's", "You better's" or "You have to's" as my children attempt to boss each other.  It would appear that each of my kiddos are determined to be in charge of everybody and everything ... except for their own bodies and their own things.

Here are a few examples ... I'm sure they will be familiar to you:

Ashley standing with her hands on her hips reprimanding Aaron for using too much milk for his cereal ... mainly because she is overly worried that he might possibly use the last of the 3/4 gallon of milk.  Oh my head.

Or Norah correcting Lydia's use of the gymnastic mat ... but only because she wants to use the mat and her not-quite-cartwheeling sissy isn't moving off to the side quickly enough.  It makes my ears hurt.

Or Aaron informing Ashley that she needs to get her shoes on and go to the van, but he's lounging on the ottoman with his newest Bionicle in his hands and nary a shoe to be found on his foot.  My right eye starts twitching.

Or Lydia declaring with all her might that Ashley's choice to sit in her chosen spot on the couch is, "That not awesome!"  That passionate proclamation is accompanied by a thump on Ashley's back with a giant Curious George.  My shoulders tense up.

Because of this propensity to of my kids to pull on their bossy pants in the morning, we have a new saying in our home.

"Who are you the boss of?"

The correct answer, of course, is "Me."

As you can imagine we've been hearing this new chorus a lot.  That's what happens when you start a new training regimen with kids ... you have to be prepared to see it through until they get it.  Even if you flirt with a little insanity from the broken record effects of repeating the same phrase over and over and over ... and over and over again.

This gentle reminder of self-control is coupled with a few encouraging words to please allow Mommy to boss that other little person.  In severe cases of bossy pants-itis, I have also been known to send the bossy one off to do a job from The Great Learning Box.

"It would appear that you have a lot of energy and time right now.  Let's put that to some good use.  It looks like you get to wipe down the bannisters.  Thanks!"


Then I can address the recipient of the bossiness ...

"Why do you think So-and-so felt the need to boss you?  Are you doing something that needs correcting?  What can you do to be responsible for yourself?"

And then perhaps there is a little activity (read: chore) that they can do while they think about their own actions.  Which results in some other part of my house getting clean as well!  Bonus!

The hope, of course, is that each of these little people will be responsible for their own sweet little selves and eliminate the need for anyone else to boss them, er ... remind them of what is expected of them.

We all struggle with issues of self-control and a persistent desire to control those around us.  And when I say "we" I, of course, mean "me".

But that's an entire post for another day!

"Grant that my children may learn responsibility, 

for each one should care his own load."  

Galatians 6:5

I'm on the Hunt

I'm standing at the bottom of the stairs leading into the garage.  The herd of kids has unloaded from the van and I'm waiting for the dust from the stampede into the house to die down.  And to muster the courage to go into the fray and help the kids settled back into being home.  I'm also on the hunt for a smile from my boy ... they've been scarce today.

As I walk in the house, the family room is littered with school parts:  backpacks, paper, lunch boxes and a few shoes.  Aaron is plopped on the couch with his coat still on, browsing the newest Lego Magazine he just snagged from the mailbox.

"Hey, Buddy ... can you please finish your "I'm home from school" business before getting sucked in?"

"Sure."

... 10 minutes later ...

I head to the garage to get the bread out of the freezer and find that the floors are still covered in school stuff.  And Aaron has made himself comfortable on the couch.  Grrr ...

"Aaron, please take care of your school stuff.  Do you have homework to do?"

"Yeah.  I'll do it."

"Hey.  You already said that.  I need you to help me out."

"Okay."

"Yes, Mom?"

"Yes, Mom."

Aaron crawls off the couch and with the magazine in one hand he reads and rounds up his stuff.  As I watch him, he manages to hang his backpack on the hook (still packed with his old lunch), drop his sweatshirt behind the laundry room door and kick half of his shoes into the shoe bin.  That would leave one shoe sitting alone by the washing machine.  I'm good at math, eh?

As he heads back to the couch, I raise my eyebrows at him and clear my throat.

"ahem ... Is that job done well?  100%?"

"What?  Oh, sorry, Mom."

I swallow my overwhelming need to nag and head back to the kitchen, leaving him to finish his job.  A few minutes later he dumps his lunch box on the counter and plops down at the kitchen.

"Can I have a snack?"

"Sure.  We have granola bars or fruit.  Or octopus legs."

"I want some yogurt."  He pulls out his math homework.

"Sorry, Dude.  No yogurt.  I have fruit or granola .... ewww!  What is slimy inside your lunch box?"

"Oh, yeah.  I couldn't get the thermos lid back on.  I guess I'll wait for dinner."

"Okay ... just don't faint from hunger.  I'd hate for you to melt into a puddle."  He is not amused by my teasing.

He mumbles through his first math problem, writing, erasing, counting, erasing again.

"I don't get this!  Where's the calculator?"

"You can't use a calculator ... you need to figure this out.   The iPod already knows how to do math."  Still no smile.

"Can I help you out?  I'm pretty good at multiplication."

"How many times does 18 go into 90?  I have no idea."

I sit across from him at the table and peek at his work.  They are teaching this "new" math where they don't just learn the long division, they have to take the numbers apart and put the equations together in different ways.  I'm still unsure of the methods, but I jump right in.

"Well ... how many times does 15 go into 90?  And then we can do something with the other left-overs."

He grunts and doodles on his page.

"Uh ... 6?"

"Right.  Okay then how many do we have left over?"

"Three from each set of 6 ... that makes 18."

"Great.  I guess that means one more set of 18."

"Which means the answer is seven."

"Yep.  Now you just need to write that out so your teacher knows how we got there."

Aaron sighs and grumbles about "not knowing" and "too hard" and "how do I do that?"

I go back to my cooking and wonder if I'm ever going to get a smile out of my boy this afternoon.

"Uh, Mom.  I double-checked my work and you were totally wrong.  The answer is five, not seven!"

I turn to my boy ... who is beaming.  And laughing.  And holding his side.  And smiling.

"You were totally off!"

More laughter and head shaking and smiling.

"Well," I gather up my pride, "That's what you get for asking your mom for help with math.  You get the wrong answer, but the smile is free!"

Sometimes I get afraid that I will fall out of touch with my big guy.  Perhaps someday I won't be cool enough for him to enjoy hanging out with me.  Apparently, however, if I lose my coolness, I still have my faulty math skills to fall back on!

 ¹³ A happy heart makes the face cheerful, 
   but heartache (and long division) crushes the spirit. (Proverbs 15:13, addition mine)


I'm so glad I found his smile ... it made my whole day.  


Even if it was at my expense!
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Prompt #2 ~  Write about the last item you looked for. Why did you need it?

Day 1:  Mom in the Midst

Day 2:  My Button is Lame

Day 3:  Splendidly Lavish

Day 4:  Keeping My Head Above Water

Day 5:  Time-Warp Wednesday ~ Little Me

Day 6:  Me, Myself & I

Day 7:  Food For Though ~ Bacon

Day 8:  The Aches and Pains of Service

Day 9:  I Heart You

Day 10:  Who is Me? {part 1}

Day 11:  Who is Me? {part 2}

Day 12:  Who is Me?  {part 3}

Day 13:  Handmade with Care

Day 14:  Food For Thought ~ Carmel & Apples

Day 15:  A Bunch of Rocks

Day 16:  Not Recycled ... Redeemed

Day 17:  What Do You Do?

Day 18:  Washed on the Delicate Cycle

Day 19:  Know Thy Limits

Day 20:  One Snapshot ~ Many Stories

Day 21:  Food For Thought ~ Malt-O-Meal

Day 22:  Cartwheeling for Jesus

Day 23:  Take a Load Off

Day 24:  Listen!  Do You Smell Something?

Day 25:  Dinner Time!

Day 26:  Where Did It Go?

Day 27:  I'm on the Hunt