Time-Warp ~ Help!

A number of years ago, I made this little slideshow for our MOPS group.  I love these little snapshots of my babies when they were, uh ... babies.




As I watch this again, the overwhelming feelings of needing help in the midst of this mothering gig come back in waves.  And chills.  And cold sweats.

Oh, wait.  Maybe that's because while the demands and challenges of mothering change as our kids get older, there are still demands and challenges.  And a lot of toe nails to trim.

If I were to produce a remix of this video, much would be the same.  But I'd have to add ...

Help me with my homework.


Drive me to school.


Take me to gymnastics.


Soothe my tender feelings.


Braid my hair.


Unknot my shoe laces.


Hug me ... but not in front of my buddies.


And you?  What would would be scribbled on your white board?

Operation: Potty Pro!

Recently, our troops underwent an intense offensive attack -
Operation: Potty Pro!

The target, Lydia, had been under surveillance for the past several weeks.  We had seen signs of potty awareness as shown by an increase in the repetition of code words: "poopy" and "pee-pee".   Also, the target had been remarkably agreeable lately, perhaps a signal for this scheduled attack to be underway prior to a change in responsiveness.

The supplies had been assembled:

Traveling potty chair for sure-fire success?  Check!

A fresh gallon of juice for hydration?  Check!

New boxes of salty treats to require increased drinking?  Check!

A variety of goodies for rewarding direct-hits?  Check!

Several favorite books, toys and gadgets for incentives and focus?  Check!

iPod alarm set at 10 minute increments?  Check!

Camera charged for documentation of mission?  Check!

Mommy chocolate and caffeinated drinks?  Check!

Sense of humor for inevitable misses?  Check!  I hope ...

The troops had been marshaled:

Ashley had her marching-orders to aid as necessary and supply the needed support.

Mommy had consulted the required training manuals, cleared the calendar of all other engagements and requested the necessary air (prayer) support.

The rest of the tactical team had been sent out of the area with orders to return as reinforcements to lend support and relief.

Recorded here is documentation of Operation:  Potty Pro ~

... Thursday, 6 January, 2011 ...

0800 hours  

Preparing for day.  Diaper removed.  Lydia is going commando. :)

0820 hours

1st sit on potty.  "Curious George" book, sippy cup and troops cheering her on:  

"I can't believe she's potty training!" ~Norah

Once chocolate gold fish for sitting happily.

0830 hours

Still sitting.

0840 hours

Dancing around with her See-n-Say.  Such cute little cheekies!

0842 hours

"Pee-pees!"

Runs for potty seat ... false alarm.

0843 hours

2nd sit on the potty

Lots of squirming

Sings "The Itsy-Bitsy Spider" two times through.

0845 hours

From upstairs, Mommy hears "oooh-oooh"

Lydia sitting on potty giving "all done" signs with her hands.

Direct hit!!  S'mores Gold Fish!  Boo-yeah!

0850 hours

Practicing wiping herself ... definitely a pro at that.

0900 hours

3rd sit on the potty

A little resistive, but Cheeze-Its are awesome!  

Gimli thinks so, too.

0911 hours

Lydia decides she wants to wear undies.

Sporting a pair of Ashley's Dora undies.  

Too cute.

0912 hours

Baby Pyna has to get off potty seat for 4th potty sit.  

Lydia doesn't want to take her turn.

Mommy just lets it go.

0926 hours

5th opportunity to sit.

Runs upstairs yelling, "no, no, no!"

Can't be lured down with graham crackers

Hmmm ... Mommy must follow through.

See-n-Say, Cheeze-Its and juice drink are enough incentive for a 5 second sit.

Nothing to report.

0940 hours

6th opportunity to sit.

Has to be carried to the potty seat.

Reads "A Turkey for Thanksgiving" and drinks a cup of juice.

Ought to see something soon ... or she will explode.

1002 hours

7th opportunity to sit.

Willing to stay seated as long as the little blue dog sings songs to her.

That would be about 45 seconds.

1006 hours

Now sporting wet Dora undies.

Really didn't like that sensation running down her leg.

Mommy hoping that works in her favor.

1009 hours

Hoping to keep her pink kitty undies dry.

1021 hours

Wet kitties.

Sad girl.

Re-set the timer.

1022 hours

Back to the potty on her own.

Success!

2 M&M's and a cuddle.

Into CareBear undies.

1025 hours

Starts crying and runs upstairs.

Mommy finds Lydia with pants and diaper in her hand.

Crying.  A lot.

1026 hours

Runs to potty and pees on CareBears.

More crying.

1028 hours

Lydia climbs into her bed.
Pulls up her covers.

So sad.

1032 hours

Snack time.

Quick run to potty...

Success!

1045 hours

Timer goes off.

"The Itsy-Bitsy Spider" for the 11th time.

Lydia looks worried.

Maybe working on a little something.

Up - Down - Up - Down - Up - Down

Perfecting the Undie Pull.

1050 hours

Back again.

Success!

S'mores Gold Fish - yeah!

Teary, sniffly smiles!

1051 hours

"Eww ... eww..."  #2

High five!

1052 hours

Back again on her own.

"The Itsy-Bitsy Spider" for the 13th time.

1100 hours

Number 2 #2!

Sad, happy laughs.

1105 hours

Another success!

She's fully hydrated.

1110 hours

"The Itsy-Bitsy Spider" for the 18th time.

Success for #2!

But Mommy is in the kitchen.

Poop on the stairs ... Awesome!

1112 hours

More pee?!?

How?!

1118 hours

More #2!

That kid's been storing up!

1120 hours

More pee ... wow!

This time with no crying. :)

1128 hours

Again ...

And almost happy about it.

1130 hours

And again ...

1131 hours

Really?

Can't just do it all at once, huh?

1138 hours

Sitting again.

How is this easier than diapers?!?

Mommy starts mantra:  "It's an investment in my diaper-less future.  It's an investment in my diaper-less future...."

1140 hours

More pee.

1143 hours

Time to make lunch.

Move the potty chair to the kitchen.

Pack 'em up and move 'em out!

(Imperative to have a portable potty!)

1150 hours

Up ... down ... up ... down ...

Tinkle on the floor and the rest in the potty.

1200 hours

Twitchy again.

1215 hours

Tiny tinkle.

1230 hours

Nap-time!
Whew ...

Half-way through the day.

Half-way through the roll of toilet paper.

Half-way through Mommy's oomph.

1530 hours

Up from nap and not the least bit interested.

Puts on a pull-up.

Smiles.

1600 hours

Bring older kids home from school.

We're back at it.

Lydia not convinced we should continue.

1615 hours

Insistent she wants to wear a diaper.

Sweet pep-talk from Norah.

No dice.

Remove pull-up in the midst of crying.

1632 hours

Success ... with lots of tears.

But, success, nonetheless.

1644 hours

Lydia is following Mommy around the house.

Crying and periodically sitting on three different potties.

Mommy trying to get dressed for the day.

1647 hours

Success!

Mommy hoping someday she'll pee without crying.

1700 hours

Into a pull-up.

Baby-sitter arrives ... whew!

Mommy is AWOL.

1930

Dry pull-up off.

Diaper and PJ's on.

Night-night!

... Friday, 7 January, 2011 ... 

0621 hours 

Mommy up early to prepare mentally and physically.

0725 hours

Lydia refuses to put on undies.

Throws undies over bannister.

Screams "No!"

0730 hours

Lydia is in undies ... 

With a little help from Mommy ...

And a promise she can carry around her chap-stick all day.

0745 hours

"The Itsy-Bitsy Spider" for the 28th time.

Nothing to report.

0835 hours

Eating breakfast on Mommy's lap.

Super-clingy.

Lots of juice.

0838 hours

Change of scene.

Potty seat moves to the family room.

Looking out sliding glass door while sitting.

Screams while Mommy counts to 10.

0842 hours

"Pee-Pee!" and pounds on Mommy's leg.

Runs to potty.

False alarm.

Let's Mommy count fingers and toes.

0856 hours

Counting digits and sitting happily.

0910 hours

Sitting and waiting.

0920 hours

Sits and screams.

Mommy counts to 10.

Sets timer again.

Drinks lots of juices ... it's only a matter of time.

0930 hours

Sit, squirm and count.

0938 hours

Sit and success!

0948 hours

"No thanks ... I'm busy."

0958 hours

"No thanks ... I'm still busy."

1000 hours

Comes to Mommy.

"Pee-pee!"

False alarm.

Enjoys "This Little Piggy".

1008 hours

No interest in sitting.

Wants to cuddle instead.

1031 hours

Still dry.  High five!

Sits.

Mommy counts to 10.

Lydia gets back to playing.

1045  - 1115 hours

Periodic potty breaks prompted by Lydia.

Mommy turns off timer.

1130 hours

Happily sitting.

Snacking.

Sipping.

Smiling.

1210 hours

"Pee-pee!"

Sits and success.

Smiles.

1242 hours

Sits on potty before nap.

Nothing to report.

Pull-up on.

Nap time.

1300 hours

Mommy considers Operation: Potty Pro at an advanced stage.  

Nearing completion.

Whew!

______________________________________

In all seriousness ... potty training really is a lot like baby bootcamp!  It's a commitment, you are exhausted, you want to give up, there are lots of tears, there is screaming and there is a lot of training going on.  And on.  And on.

On Saturday, we started out with more crying, screaming and pitifulness.  (For Lydia ... not me!  Mainly because Daddy was home and he took over a lot of the reinforcement ... in his calm, quiet way.  Thanks, Love!)  Lydia attached herself to my left hip and that's pretty much where you could find her much of the day.  For meals she sat on my right leg while I ate with my left hand.  I'm not left-handed so that was fun.  By Saturday afternoon, she was peeing without crying (boo-yeah!) and willing to sit somewhere else.  Anywhere else.

Sunday was great ... eating breakfast with both hands and being able to walk around the house without my little shadow.  I think that she had gained back her self-confidence and had worked through her insecurities of this new, crazy, scary, life-changing event.  It is a real joy to watch even our littlest kiddo grow up a bit ... and embrace her diaperlessness!

Even though sweet Lydia has figured out how this potty-business works, I'm still a tad bit cautions to declare Mission: Complete!  We will have to continue to ask her several times an hour if she needs to go.  We will still be cleaning up "near hits".  We will still pack the diaper bag with several sets of extra pants.  We will probably be in pull-ups when we leave the house for awhile.

But we have laid the foundation for her being diaper-free.  And that means I'm almost diaper-free, too!

1, 2, 3 ... Let Go!

There are a number of elements of being a mom that are just like I expected them to be (snuggling sleepy newborns, the delightful smell of babies fresh from the tub, cuddling while reading a bed-time book) ... right alongside plenty of other aspects of mothering that I was completely unprepared for!  I had no idea that when I said, "I want to have a natural labor" that I was going to be begging for an epidural.  I had no idea that breast-feeding was actually an art form and that everyone (including the baby) had to learn how to do it.  I had no idea that I could make one shower stretch so long into the week.  I had no idea that I could be surrounded by little people 24/7 and still feel very lonely.  I had no idea that I would lose part of my brain with each child and find myself calling my husband to unlock my van, only for him to find the passenger-side window half-way down.  I had no idea that I would be the one to sleep through night-time issues ... and that Daddy would be the one to respond first.  I had no idea that I would hang onto frozen breast milk waaaay past weaning ... just because it was the end of an era.  I had no idea that one home could house an entire toy-store with gadgets for kids of all ages.  But I also had no idea that I would get so attached to the baby toys, blankets, outfits and books and have so much trouble letting go!

We are currently in that strange limbo-land of moving away from baby paraphernalia and moving toward a life of more big-kid stuff.  It's an inevitable transition, but that doesn't make it any easier for me.  Brett has been very patient and allowed me to continue to store much of our baby gear (thank goodness for our attic!) but it is becoming more and more obvious to me that I can't hold on to this stuff forever!  When we had baby Lydia, I went through all the boy clothes and with a good amount of tears managed to whittle the 9 boxes down to just a few sentimental outfits to hang on to.  The true blessing came over the next few weeks as friends came by to "shop" our boy boutique ... it was wonderful to pass on our abundance of clothing, knowing that they were all going to be enjoyed by some other little rumble, tumble tyke.

We have done the same with the baby girl clothes Lydia has grown out of ... but lately it has become more pressing to pass on more of the big "stuff" and that strikes me right in my mommy-heart.  There are a few items that I will probably never be able to let go of:  the crib (all my babies slept there), the jungle-gym mat (way too many memories) and a few of the kids' favorite baby toys (my grandbabies will need toys when they visit, right?).  But that leaves a lot of items that need new homes.

Over the past several weeks, I have been able to see a few needs and feel in my heart that I can part with some of this "stuff" knowing it is helping someone else out.  We purged the baby rattles and toys a few weeks ago and while it was weird bagging up those memories, it was liberating to clear out some baskets and boxes ... again, knowing some little sweetie would be enjoying these goodies.  A few weeks ago we pulled the changing table out of the bathroom and cleaned out the drawers of all the baby supplies and moved the desk to the basement.  Now we have just a small changing station in the baby girls' room and we can see the end to this age of diapers.  (Now that does get me excited ... but it's still a little bitter-sweet.)  We recently gave our stroller and car-seat to a baby boy and his teen-mom.  That felt good knowing this little guy was going to be safe and comfy.  And in spite of giving away a lot of stuff ... there is still more to let go of.

Some of you may not have felt this need to hold on to the baby years ... maybe you are just thrilled you survived :) and you are more than ready to move on!  But for those of you who are like me, sobbing through the end of Toy Story 3 (darn you Pixar! for preying on every one of my mommy-insecurities!) and clinging to these baby "things" ... let me share a few things that have helped me.

• I have found that if I keep a few items from each kid - something that will capture their growing personality or freeze-frame a particular moment time - I don't feel as bad.  I have a bin in the attic with these mementos and I am happy to know that a few little items are safe and sound.
• I take lots of pictures and that is a great way for me to see our kids enjoying or even wearing those items I have to let go of.
• Instead of just sending items to Goodwill (which is a great place to donate), I try to find out specific needs in my circle of friends - it's nice knowing who gets the double blessing of our clothes and gear ... and sometimes I get the joy of seeing some outfits being worn again!
• I am not rushing to toss out the baby stuff ... I think that it is important to let myself grieve the end of my child-bearing season, knowing that my child-rearing season is still in full swing.  By allowing this process of letting go set it's own course, I feel that I can fully embrace and be enthusiastic about this season of training up big kids!  It's a new season with it's own mementos I'm sure I will want to keep forever! :)

Tonight as we put the kids to bed, I watched them each snuggle in with their own favorite "lovies".  Aaron had his beloved purple and turquoise pterodactyl and his tie-dye t-shirt pillow in bed with him.  Norah had her favorite, floppy, flowered pillow that she likes to wrap her fingers up in.  Ashley had her favorite purple quilt made by my sweet friend, Kim.  She loves to run her fingers across the satin edge as she falls asleep. Lydia was snuggled up on her zebra pillowcase from Auntie Allie and was clutching her little blue pillow with the white sheep (made by Cousin Rebekah), her Eeyore blanket from her friend Taylor and her "boppie" which was a baby blanket we wrapped her in when she was a wee-one.  Ooooh, boy!  (sniff, sniff...) I think it will be a loooong while before I'm able to part with any of those :).

Of course, Brett tells me I'll always have a little kid in him to take care of :) ... and he has lots of toys!