Mercy Me

Apparently on one particular day last week, my big girls were malfunctioning.

Shorting out.  Over-heating.  Needing to be re-booted.

Normally Norah and Ashley get along rather well.  With each other and with me.  On this day, however, we were experiencing all sorts of issues.  Whining, wimpering, warring and weirdness.  It wasn't pretty.

I put up with it for a bit, attributing their wonkiness to a lack of sleep, a need for a snack, too much time together or maybe needing some Mommy-time.  But then they each crossed that final line between "Maybe you're just tired" and "What's your deal?!"

As they barged into the kitchen, shoulder to shoulder, each trying to yell out their complaint louder and more plaintively, my patience wore out.

"That's enough!  Both of you need to pick out a job from the Great Learning Box.  Now.  Quietly.  If I hear one more squeak out of either of you, you will have another job.  Got it?"

Sniffle, sniffle, sniffle ... from them.

Grumble, grumble, grumble ... from me.

I turned back to the sink full of dishes and practiced my deep breathing, rolling my head from side to side like Rocky Balboa coming out of the boxing ring.

They sheepishly retrieved the striped box from the counter and reached in.  Norah pulled out, "Straighten the laundry room" and headed off to tidy up shoes and re-hang sweatshirts.  Ashley carried her folded piece of paper to me, lower lip pouting and eyes downcast with little tears still hanging on her eyelashes.

"Can you read mine, Mommy?"

I slipped my hands out of my yellow rubber gloves and unfolded her little scrap.

"Mercy."

...sigh...


More than anything in the world, I wanted to tell my little missy to reach back in there and pull out a good one!  I wanted her to have to pay a little for her complaining.  I wanted her to experience a bit of a sting for her whining.  I want her to have a consequence that would cause her to think twice before she tattled again.  I wanted punishment, retribution and justice.  All because of a little five-year old's skirmish with her sissy.

But that little piece of paper has a big job.  It's there to remind me that God doesn't require punishment, retribution or justice of me when I make a mistake.  When I whine, complain or grumble, God is rich in His mercy towards me and in the same way He calls me to extend that same mercy to those around me.  Especially my brawling babies.

There is a specific verse from the Old Testament book of Micah that addresses this.  In chapter three, God instructed His prophet to write this:

⁸ He has shown you, O [Mommy], what is good. 
   And what does the LORD require of you? 
To act justly and to love mercy 
   and to walk humbly with your God.

(That "Mommy" reference is my addition, just FYI.)

Even though my little LeLe had broken a house rule (or two, or three, or four, or five ...), this was a teachable moment for me to extend to her mercy and show her a first-hand example of what God's mercy looks like when we come to Him seeking forgiveness.

God does not hang my mistakes over my head, punishing me every time I miss the mark.  If I come to Him in confession, He has a beautiful promise for me nestled in Psalm 103:

¹¹ For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
   so great is his love for those who fear him;
¹² as far as the east is from the west,
   so far has he removed our transgressions from us.

 ¹³ As a father has compassion on his children,
   so the LORD has compassion on those who fear him;

Because of Jesus' willingness to die for my sins, I am extended mercy in place of punishment when I do the wrong thing.  And He has compassion on me because I am one of His children who honors Him.  This is wonderful for me to receive ... but not so easy sometimes for me to extend.

I endured a fierce two-second struggle standing at the sink staring at that word: "Mercy."  Punishment or grace?  Judgement or forgiveness?  Consequence or mercy?

... sigh ... again ...

"Okay, Honey ... please go upstairs and play quietly.  And please try to be good to your sister when she's done with her job.  Thank you."

That was a tough one.  It would have felt more satisfying, perhaps, to see her spot cleaning the floor as her consequence, but it was a bit more godly to give her mercy instead.  And her teary smile and hug was a lot more fulfilling than a clean floor.

Of course, being a five-year old meant that before the end of the day she was back at the Great Learning Box and I still got my kitchen floor scrubbed, but not before she saw a little bit of God's goodness and mercy from her Mommy first.

What's In a Name?

I am reading through J.R.R. Tolkien's "The Hobbit" with my boy.

Uhm.  Correction:  We were reading "The Hobbit" together, but then Aaron finished it and now I am just trying to finish strong.

Who knew that this classic would grab my son by his knobby little shoulders and take over his life for two weeks?  I'm absolutely thrilled (it sure beats the anime-addiction he was suffering from this Spring), but at the same time I was a bit surprised by his voracious appetite for the adventures of Middle Earth.

For those of you frightened off by the thousands of pages to push through in the Lord of the Rings trilogy, this novel is the prequel.  It tells of the first adventure of dear ol' Bilbo Baggins - headed off with a company of dwarves to recover their ancient treasure from the fierce and fiery dragon Smaug.  And it's the perfect starter book for those who love tall tales told well.

Tolkien is at once a storyteller, poet and master wordsmith.  He weaves a story overflowing with terrible danger, daring rescues, three foot-tall heroes and monstrous villains.  The world that he creates is strange and vast ... and as real as the neighborhood outside my front door.  Within moments of entering into Bilbo's home under the hill, the Shire, Mirkwood Forest and the Lonely Mountain come alive with strange creatures, ancient histories and beautiful languages.  And at the turn of every page, we are transported to Middle Earth and join Bilbo and Company as they trek along in search of their treasure.

Without giving too much away (because I know that you are going to read it now!) I wanted to share with you a passage that I read last night.  Bilbo is fulfilling his role as Burglar and with the help of his mysterious ring that turns him invisible, he has snuck down into the lair of Smaug ... for the second time.  The first time he snitched a golden goblet and Smaug, being your typical dragon, knew exactly what was missing the moment he awoke from his evening nap.  In his fury he hunts down the Thief but because of Bilbo's own craftiness, Smaug is left searching in vain.  During Bilbo's return to the dragon's lair, we read this curious interaction:

"Truly songs and tales fall utterly short of the reality, O Smaug the Chiefest and Greatest of Calamites," replied Bilbo.
"You have nice manners for a thief and a liar," said the dragon.  "You seem familiar with my name, but I don't seem to remember smelling you before.  Who are you and where do you come from, may I ask?"
"You may indeed!  I come from under the hill, and under the hills and over the hills my paths led.  And through the air, I am he that walks unseen."
"So I can well believe," said Smaug, "but that is hardly your usual name."
"I am the clue-finder, the web-cutter, the stinging fly.  I was chosen for the lucky number."
"Lovely titles!" sneered the dragon. "But lucky numbers don't always come off."
"I am he that buries his friends alive and drowns them and draws them alive again from the water.  I came from the end of a bag, but no bag went over me."
"These don't sound so creditable," scoffed Smaug.
"I am the friend of bears and the guest of eagles.  I am Ringwinner and Luckwearer; and I am Barrel-rider," went on Bilbo beginning to be pleased with his riddling.

If you are familiar with the story, you know that Bilbo gives Smaug much more than his name.  He recounts his adventures over the past eight months including his terrifying trip in the grips of a giant eagle, his trip down the elven river atop a barrel-raft and, of course, his pitch-black battle of wits with the horrid Gollum, during which he won the mysterious ring.  This "riddling" reveals more of Bilbo's identity than just his mere name would.  These descriptions reveal what his life has looked like.

In the same way, I often find myself forgoing the use of my given name for titles and names that describe my life.  On any given day, I go by ...

• Sunny-side Up Egg Maker, 
• Plate & Pot Scrubber, 
• Super Sock Sorter, 
• Toddler Wrangler, 
• Pig-n-a-Poke Dresser, 
• Hair Snaggle Detangler, 
• Sibling Referee, 
• Eat Your Veggies Broken Record,
• "Bummer Dude" Discipline Giver,
• Minutest Achievement Cheerleader,
• Action-figure Itty-Bitty Gun Locater, 
• Don't Bite Me Floss Helper, 
• Cuddle Up Book Reader,
• Get Back Into Bed Shepherd, and
• Back In The Saddle Again Mama.

To name a few.  And there are many more that are not related to Mommying.

Of course, these titles don't actually describe who I am, but what I do.  From these titles you can get a pretty good picture of my day to day life and what my role as Mom looks like.  You can also infer from this list of names my love for my children and my passion for creating a haven for my family.  So while I typically shy away from labels, these monikers reveal more about me than my birth name would.

We can do a similar name study of God and discover His role in our lives and His enduring character.  Here are a few titles to get you started:

• Redeemer ~ Making Us New (Job 19:25)
• Bread of Life ~ Our Sustainer (John 6:35)
• Counselor ~ Guide & Help (Isaiah 9:6)
• Faithful & True ~ Dependable (Revelation 19:11)
• Abba ~ Our Daddy (Romans 8:15)
• Great Shepherd ~ Protector (Hebrews 13:20)
• Rock ~ Our Foundation (1 Corinthians 10:4)
• Author of Life ~ Our Beginning (Acts 3:15)
• Immanuel ~ God With Us (Isaiah 7:14)
• Living Water ~ Satisfying Our Spiritual Thirst (John 4:10)
• Potter ~ Molding Us Daily (Isaiah 64:8)
• Vine ~ Our Life Line (John 15:5)

With every page in God's Bible, we see another description of our Heavenly Father.  In much the same way that Tolkien wove together a picture of Bilbo and his warrior spirit, God paints us a picture of Himself.  Through God's Word we discover His strength, love, compassion, mercy and power.

Unlike Bilbo, however, God is not a creation or a character in a book.  He is real and Faithful & True.

Rock-a-Bye Baby

Perhaps you're a little waterlogged with all of my amazing tales of our waterpark vacation to Wisconsin.  We, however, are still drying out!  We continue to soak up all the wonderful memories of our family time and it's fun to "splash" through the pics and reminisce about this fantastic time away.  I have one more little story I want to share.  I think.  You never know ... there might be another little snapshot floating round in my head waiting to be written.

On our last full day at the condos, we headed over to the final remaining indoor waterpark of the campus.  One we hadn't been to yet.  Actually, the "we" I'm referring to was an abbreviated "we" as Brett was off enjoying a breakfast with the guys and would meet up with us later.  The "we" from above was actually just me and my four fish ... and a monster wave pool.  In my mind, I had a plan for how we would all enjoy the crazy, sloshing pool and all keep our heads above water.  But, considering how well my lazy river adventure went, I was feeling a little trepidation.

As we walked into the pool area, the first thing that struck me was the roaring noise that drowned out the (happy) screams of the swimmers being tossed among the waves.  The second thing that struck me was the impossibility of any of those friendly lifeguards from being able to tell the difference between a happily thrashed swimmer and a swimmer in danger.  Thirdly I was struck by the absurdity trying to do this without Brett.

My first task was to strap the two littlest into their life vests.  My next task was to march my little group over to the edge of the pool that filtered into the play-land and lay out some ground rules.

"You must stay where I can see you."


"You may not go out any farther than the blue pole."


"You need to stay in your inner tube at all times."


"Good luck ... and I love you."

The little girls frolicked over to the kiddy area while the big kids seized their tubes and gleefully flung themselves into the pool.  I stood in the middle of the two areas, tried to watch all four of the kids at once and prayed, "Jesus, keep them all above water, please. Amen."

And that was before the water started churning with the next cycle of waves!

Amazingly enough, the big kids actually enjoyed being tossed about and stayed afloat almost 93% of the time.  The little ones, on the other hand, were intrigued by the waves rolling by and soon lost interest in the boring ol' toddler-friendly zone and began edging out into the deep.  With a grip on my girls' little hands/wrists/arms/necks, we enjoyed the waves crashing against our feet/knees/legs/faces.

You can imagine my relief when Daddy showed up!

It was at this moment that I started breathing again and I began to truly enjoy myself.

The two big kids stayed in their respective inner tubes and Brett and I retrieved two double tubes.  A genius of some sort designed these fantastic tubes that were closed in on one end for little people to sit in comfortably while the other end was open so that we big people could hang down inside.  I would have LOVED one of these on our first day! Together as a family we waded out into the surf.

For the next hour we were buffeted around (in 10 minute increments with 5 minutes to recover in between ... I would have preferred it the other way around!) and sloshed from one end of the pool to the other.  Brett had Ashley in his tube and kept a close eye on Aaron while Lydia and I rocked and rolled around in our tube and tried to keep up with Norah.  My "professional" technique for keeping us afloat was to hang down in my end of the tube and grip the handle of the tube with one hand and Lydia's life vest with the other.  I found that I gripped both with an equal, yet unknown strength.

With each cycle of waves, there were more and more swimmers joining the throng.  It was quite literally a sea of heads bobbing up and down among the waves.  This congestion did little to calm the little waves of worry that washed over me.  As much as I would have liked to relax and enjoy the current, I felt a need to track my little-big kids, keep Brett in my line of vision and continue my iron-grip on Liddy.

I'll let you in on a little something:  this grasping for control is just a drop in the ocean compared to my need to be in charge of the rest of my life.

I admit that I'm a control-freak!  I am a micro-manager, a non-delegator, a "Me-Do-er" and a hyper-planner.  But I would like to add that I am also in rehab. :)  In the recent years, I have been able to let go a bit of my internal desire for utter perfection and allow God to rescue me from that ocean of failure, guilt and regret.  I have been able to release to Him my desires for "how things should be done" and invite Him to do my life His way.  I have been able to release my expectations on those around me, allow them to be themselves and celebrate who He is molding them to be.  I have been able to ride the waves of life and rest in knowing that in spite of feeling like I am in dangerous waters ... I am right in His hands.

So ... you can imagine my surprise and amazement when Lydia presented me with a beautiful illustration of this trust and rest!  As we bounced and bounded around on the top of the waves, sometimes bumping against other "wavers", sometimes being bashed against the walls of the pool ...

... she started to doze off.

In the midst of the roar of the water and the screaming of the other swimmers, she was rocked to sleep by the constant ebb and flow of the water.

She knew she was safe.  Her Mommy had her.  And because of this confidence, she could enjoy the ride, laugh and squeal happily as waves washed over her head and ... even doze off for a bit.

Oh, to feel such peace in my soul!

The next time that you feel like you are being tossed about by the waves of life, I hope you will remember that snapshot.  And this promise:

In Psalm 29, David writes about the power of God.  And in verses 3, 10 and 11 he specifically addresses God's sovereignty over the waters ...

³ The voice of the LORD is over the waters; 
   the God of glory thunders, 
   the LORD thunders over the mighty waters. 
¹⁰ The LORD sits enthroned over the flood;
   the LORD is enthroned as King forever.
¹¹ The LORD gives strength to his people;
   the LORD blesses his people with peace.


Remember ... You're safe.  God has you.

Mommy, RN

I have been wearing a different hat this week ... one that doesn't fit as comfortably as the others.  I am quite at home in my "House-keepers" hat - as long as dusting or ironing isn't on the list.  I can wear my "Chef" hat quite proudly on my head as I toodle around the kitchen creating my latest tasty concoction.  I am also quite fond of my "Game Show Host" hat and I'm enjoying this season of, "Let's play a game!"

I am not nearly as comfortable in my "Nurses" hat, however, because it means someone is hurting.  And I am, most often, powerless to do anything about it.

My little Ashley was victim to a wasp ambush last week.  There she was just minding her own business and zooming around the culdesac when all of a sudden she was in the wrong place at the wrong time.  In the blink of an eye, she was off her bike, screaming, flinging her arms around and jumping up and down.  The sort of thing that stops a mommy's heart and sends her running!

After the assault, we discovered a sting her arm, two on her hand and two on her face.  The mean little bugger!  As I snuggled her on the kitchen bench, trying to ice three different spots with just two hands - and her little breath caught in gasps and muffled sobs - my heart broke.  My little ice cubes were no match for her pain and fear.  All I could do was hold her, tell her how brave she was and assure her that she was going to be okay.  I had no magical wand to bibbity-bobbity-boo her back to being pain-free.

Then there was Aaron.  Poor little dude ended up with a doozy sunburn after an awesome day at the pool.  Now, several days later, we are still nursing his wounds.  His bright red, itty-bitty blistery wounds.  He has been so brave to endure my futile attempts to "make it all better".  From aloe vera to vinegar to tea bags, he's put up with a lot, but he's yet to experience instant relief.

It broke my heart to hear him crying in the midst of his cool shower, mumbling about not being able to move his arms or sleep on his back or shrug.  If only I could summon Madam Pomfrey and get her burn-healing paste or browse through a Hogwart's potions book in order to search out the healing properties of horned slugs.

I know that my kids will be just fine.  They come from two parents who survived childhood bee stings and sunburns ... and lived to tell the tale!  But that doesn't make it any easier in the midst of it all.

How do you know what to do?
How can you be sure to do more help than harm?
How do you help them to move on from sad to brave and from clingy to bold?
How do you let them cry without allowing them to stay in that "woe is me" hole?

That feeling of helplessness is an uncomfortable place to be, but it is necessary because it moves us out of our self-sufficiency and into a dependence on God.

And being in God's capable hands is the perfect place to be.

I can't say that God speeded the healing process for either of my kids, but He brought peace into the middle of their little season of suffering.  In the midst of their pain and His presence, I was able to speak to my kids about God's goodness and His love for them and His ability to make them well again.  Then, upon feeling relief, they were able then to put together the promises of God and their healing and see God's fingerprints ... and a little glimpse of God's care for them as the Great Physician.

I hope that this little spell of pain mixed peace will help them to have compassion for others who are suffering.  And in this heightened state of compassion, be able to pass on the gift of God's peace to others, too, through prayer and a little extra TLC.

I'm also hopeful that we can steer clear of wasp's nests and remember the importance of sunscreen ... so Mommy can enjoy wearing a different hat for a bit!

______________

Nurse's Update:  


Ashley made a full recovery, seemingly overnight.  We used apple cider vinegar on her little stings on her arm and hand and were amazed at the speed with which the welts disappeared.  By the next morning, you would never have known anything happened.  While she cuts a wide path around the scene of the zingy incident, she is back on her bike!


Aaron has moved on from the "can't raise my arms" stage to the "look, Ma, I'm better" stage to the "aaaahhhh ... I'm so itchy!" stage.  Poor little dude ... this is a long lesson we are learning.  He has swim lessons this week, but from under his new swim shirt, he intends to stay sunburn-free. 

Keeping the Magic Alive

While in Wisconsin, we spent one evening enjoying the thrills and spills of the Tommy Bartlett Show.  Not familiar with that?  Well ... imagine a circus on water skis ... complete with a ringmaster, silly skits, daring escapades and Aqua the Clown.

As we sat watching the motorboats jet by the stage, I was torn between watching the thrilling stunts and watching my children's faces.

As one water skier flew over the jump and did a spin in the air, Aaron's eyes  got big and round, "Whoa!  I've gotta try that sometime!"

As the lovely ladies skimmed across the water poised on one leg in an arabesque with their raised leg looped through the tow line, Norah's smile spread from ear to ear.  I could almost hear her thinking, "Ooohhh, something else I could do in a leotard."

As the water skiing pyramid glided past, Ashley smiled past the thumb she was sucking on.  Her eyes lit up ... "Hmmm ... that's taking cheerleading to a whole new level."

As the roar of the jet boat roared around the river in an oval, spraying water in its wake, Lydia covered her ears and grinned.  "Loud!"  Liddy likes loud.

Each aspect of the performance grabbed my children's attention.  Whether it was the danger or the glitter or the noise, they were riveted to the "stage".  The magic of this event captured them.

Unfortunately, as I've grown into adulthood, some of that magic has lost its sparkle.  While I am still in awe of the feats of daring that we watched ... no one I know would fling themselves over a jump set aflame ... I was also aware of the overly-scripted monologue of the ringleader and the "oops, we missed the boat" cover-up by the performers.

While it truly was a well-done show, it was just that.  A show.

I was also struck by sense that while this show is celebrating 60 years of "Livin' the Dream" ... not much has changed in those 60 years.  Of course, there are fresh and young entertainers, but they are performing many of the same stunts that performers 60 years ago debuted.  There might be more bling, more flashiness and more splash, but essentially not much has changed over the course of this show's life.  Day after day ... show after show ... splash after splash.

It was an exciting show for us, but I had to wonder if the magic has been lost for the performers.

Isn't that the way with life?

As a kid, my future was dazzling.  What would I do?  Who would I marry?  Where would I live?  All magical possibilities.

Now as an adult, those BIG decisions have been made.  I'm a mom.  I'm married to Brett.  I live in the desert.  And some days are a little low on the sparkle-factor.  My life can feel a bit like a show that just goes on and on ... and on and on.

The same "stunts":

Watch as Mom makes dinner (again) while keeping the youngest from terrorizing the others by allowing her to "help" in the kitchen.  She is boiling a pot of pasta and trying to cut up vegetables without putting her toddler in danger but at the same time keeping her contained.  Can she do it? ... Yes!  She did it!  And the pasta didn't boil over!

The same "daring feats":

Now Mom will attempt to go to Wal-Mart with all four of her children ... and come out without anything that isn't on her list.  Watch carefully ... she's nearing the check-out line ... she's almost there ... Ooooh!  She buckled!  She said, "yes", to a pack of gum.  She was so close!  Better luck next time!

The same "daredevil attempts":

For the grand finale, Mom intends ... to make a phone call.  She has made a quick survey of the home and it would appear that all the children are occupied which should ensure a successful performance.  Look at that focus.  She's dialing the number.  She's waiting for an answer.  Uh-oh ... did you hear that? Someone is calling for her from the living room.  She darts around the corner into the kitchen.  Someone answers on the other line ... she exchanges a few pleasantries, but she looks worried.  And for good reason ... the children are headed her way!  They are all talking.  That little one is banging on her leg!  She's cornered against the stove!  What is she going to do?!  She's trying to hold on, trying to listen and respond, trying to make her way out of the kitchen ... she did it!  She has escaped to the bathroom!  Well done!  Such suspense!

Yeah ... I can't imagine much of a crowd paying for a ticket to watch that! :)  But it's true.  So painfully true.  Unless ...

If I make it a point to see my life as mom, wife and desert-dweller not just as a wing-and-a-prayer performance, but as a carefully orchestrated and significant existence, my perspective is utterly transformed.  

No longer do I see my attempts to keep Lydia contained as an endless trial, but as an opportunity to study and train up my little girl.

No longer do I see my repeated trips to Wal-Mart as agonizing, but as teachable moments to model good manners, cheerfulness and self-control.

No longer do I see my challenging phone calls as frustrating, but as occasions to remind my children of respect, boundaries and patience.

Of course, I still find myself frazzled, frustrated and fried, but I don't have to settle for that.  With God's help, He is guiding me to be more the mom He wants me to be and giving me the opportunity to re-capture some of the magic of motherhood.  It is a comfort to know that I'm not on my own in my parenting.  According to Isaiah 40:11, God is gently leading me along as I navigate this role as Mom.

I don't want to just go through the motions of mommying with the hopes of wowing the crowd!  And I don't want to lose the magic of having front row seats to the adventure-filled lives of my kids. 

Here's to 60 years of me "Livin' the Dream" and parenting my kids with bravery and grace ... and hopefully a little bit of sparkle!

The Not-So Lazy River

During our vacation to Wisconsin, we stayed pretty wet.  And not from the humidity.  From the first hotel night, through the five days at the condo and on through the birthday party upon returning home, we only had two days were weren't suited-up and splashing.  That's a lot of pool time.  A few kids were at risk of sporting gills.

On our first full day at the resort, we visited one of the indoor water parks on the campus.  One of three ... we enjoyed them all by the end of the week.  This particular park, Klondike Kavern, was designed along the lines of the gold rush, complete with the water-filled Bonanza Bluff play area and Sulfur Springs spa.

This was also the location of the not-so-lazy Bonanza Brook.  My nemesis.

After the first hour of sliding, splashing and sloshing around, Brett headed off with Aaron to brave a few trips down the tube slides.  That left me with the three little girls who all wanted to float around the lazy river for a bit.

Before heading to the landing to intercept a couple of tubes, I strapped the two littlest girls into their life-jackets.  And I'm so glad I did.

We stepped down the stairs into the brook/stream/rapids and snagged two double inner-tubes.  Norah plopped down in the hole of one end of a tube while Ashley climbed into the other side.  They both smiled and giggled.  I lifted Lydia into the hole opposite me and she peered over the edge of the tube at me and grinned.  We were set for some fun.  At least until we pushed off into the deep.

Within just a few seconds, we went from fun to frantic!  As the current pushed us along (and the fellow tubers bounced against us) I could quickly see that our strategy wasn't going to work.  Even with the life-vests, Little Ashley and Tiny Liddy were dangling down in their respective holes, teeny fists gripping their tubes' hand-holds and still sorta-smiling through the clear plastic float.  It was obvious that I needed to get them up onto the floats, but how??  We were in motion and they were slippery.  And I'm short.

I grabbed a hand hold of Norah and Ashley's float and put on the breaks (i.e. my feet that fortunately reached the bottom of the pool).  Then with my body, I wedged my float up against theirs to stop them from floating away.  There was a potential for us to create a traffic jam, but everybody else was just going to have to go around!

First I managed to hoist Lydia up by her life-vest so that she was straddling the tube.

"Ride it like a horsey, Liddy.  Okay?"

"Eee-haw."  ...big smile...


Then I turned to the other girls.  Norah looked nervous and Ashley was still hanging there with a grinning grimace plastered on her face.  Are we having fun yet?!  I reached over to try and grasp her hand but my arms were too short.  I couldn't get a good grip.  I felt a little panicky, but I knew that Mommy needed to keep her act together ... so that grinning grimace didn't turn into tears.

With my calmest voice I addressed Norah:

"Honey, I need you to help."  Yeah ... I need you to help lift your sister who weighs as much as you do, plus a few extra pounds due to the sodden life-vest.

"Can you go under and push her up?"  Yep ... go underwater ... in this current ... and push that bricks-in-her-britches kid up.

"Please."  Mommy is pretty helpless here ... literally, out of her depth.

Norah's response?

"Sure!"

She dove under the tube, hoisted Ashley up until she could swing her leg over the tube (Eee-haw!) and then monkeyed herself back into her hole.

Smiles again ... this time for Mommy, too.

We entered back into the flow and found ourselves surrounded with familiar faces.  Some of our family floated by and an uncle latched onto Norah and Ashley.  I sighed (and shuddered ... a little post-traumatic stress released) and finally began to enjoy Bonanza Brook!

Let the laziness begin!

This experience is actually a pretty good illustration of how I sometimes feel in parenting.  There are times when I find myself on the bank of a new adventure or a new season in mommyhood ... ready to jump in, but not sure what I'm actually in for.  From the edge of the water, it looks like fun.  Maybe a few bumps.  Maybe a few rapids, but with my tube, I anticipate it will be smooth sailing.

Then I get into the middle of the current and find myself in over my head.  My feet can't find the bottom of the river, my hands seem too slippery to hold on for long and the current is pushing me along whether I want it to or not!  This new stage of mothering is not what I thought I was jumping into!

In these moments, I have to trust in others to keep me afloat.

I have to trust in friends and family.  So often I have fellow moms and other family members who offer to help and instead of accepting their assistance, I hear the words, "It's okay ... I've got it ..." come out of my mouth.  And then there I am bobbing up and down gasping for air instead of benefiting from the blessing of their rescue.


I have to trust in my kids.  They amaze me sometimes with their resiliency and maturity.  On more than one occasion, I have floundered in my parenting and been rescued by my own little people.  Whether they are extending grace, a helping hand or a fresh perspective, I find myself back on secure footing and seeing my kids in a whole new light.


I have to trust in God.  He promises to keep my head above water ... my own personal Life-Saver according to Isaiah 43:2, "When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you."


Parenting is a wet and wild ride ... but if we surround ourselves with the right people, if we are willing to accept a little help, and if we are resting in our Life-Saver it can be both fun and memorable!

Connecting with Others

Today is probably the toughest day of the VBS week.  Everybody (tourists and tour guides alike) are all starting to run a little thin.  Some of the tricks of the trade to keep everybody happy and busy start to wear out.  And name tags start disintegrating!

But it's an important day of VBS as we get the opportunity to share with the kids how their lives can be a blessing to those around them ... opening their eyes to a bigger world.  The story that we learn today is about the Samaritan woman who meets Jesus at the well and returns to her a village a changed woman, ready to share her experience with others and share the blessings of knowing Jesus personally.

So, hang in there, teams and guests ... let's keep going strong!

Gloria is exuberant this morning with fantastic news ... she can't keep it in!  And her world just a little bigger, too.

_________________________________________

Day 4

Nancy is talking on her cell phone.  Gloria runs in squealing and spinning.

Gloria:  “Yippee! Yahoo!  This glee I can’t fake!  They asked me to come back ... This could be my big CHANCE!”  (happy dance)

Nancy:  Uh, Mom ... I’m going to have to call you back.  Bye.  Wow, Gloria, what’s your big news?

Gloria:  This morning, I was eating my favorite breakfast, those yummy little sugary bites with the mulit-colored marshmallows that dissolve on your tongue when ... oh, never mind.  I was eating breakfast when the phone rang and it was the casting office for that play I auditioned for yesterday.  And they want me to come in today.  Again.  For another audition!  I’m just a little excited.

Nancy:  Yes ... I can see that.  I’m excited for you, too.  What is your plan for the audition?

Gloria:  Well ... actually, I’m kinda surprised that they called me back at all.  I wasn’t sure that I had done a very good job at all.  I forgot one of the lines and dropped my script half-way through the screening.  And then I called the director Bob instead of Bill.  Yeah ... it didn’t go well.  But, I tried to just be me and I guess it worked.

Nancy: That’s great.  Being you is always a good idea.

Gloria:  But you know what, that wasn’t even the best thing that happened yesterday.  When I was waiting in the casting office there was another girl there waiting to audition and she was even more nervous than me ... which is saying a lot.

Nancy:  I can only imagine.

Gloria:  Exactly.  So while we were sitting there, I got to thinking about why I felt so calm and BINGO! (Nancy jumps) I realized it was because of Jesus.  So, when she asked why I could just sit there with a smile on my face, I got to tell her about Jesus.  I even used one of my new poems ...

Nancy:  Oh boy ... really?

Gloria:  Yeah!  I told her, “Jesus loves me, It is true, And if you trust Him, He’ll love you in the exact same way.”  I think it made her feel better ... or at least it made her laugh.  Although I don’t know what was so funny.

Nancy:  Gloria ... you are a good friend.  Sorta silly, but a good friend.

_________________________________________

This is a bittersweet day for me, too.  We are headed out after VBS this morning for our family reunion in Wisconsin.  Which means, of course, that the Kellum clan will be missing out tomorrow.  Not the best calendar planning on my part!  But don't worry ... Gloria will be back tomorrow for one last visit!

It has been a wonderful, faith-stretching, exciting, heart-touching, hair-pulling, invigorating, exhausting experience!  It's fun to be so worn out for a good reason ... but I'm also looking forward to having my brain back and to be connecting with others.  "Others" being my family! :)

Connecting With Love

Wow!  God' blessed our socks off yesterday by sending us 190 kids!  That would be 36 more kids than we had planned on as our "dream high" number.  Socks.  Blessed.  Off.  And in the midst of the traffic jam of kids at the BIG APPLE ... we had a lot of fun!  Amazing leaders.  Fantastic youth.  Servant-hearted volunteers.  Socks.  Blessed.  Off.  Again.

We are headed back today for another wild morning.  Keep praying!  We need energy, quick transitions from rotation to rotation, energy, enough supplies, energy, good times to connect with the kids and ... energy.  But, it's good to be poured out and exhausted for God - truly satisfying in your soul to be able to say ... "Okay, Jesus ... it's up to You."

Of course, Gloria and Nancy will be back for some more antics.  The kids got a kick out of her failure to rhyme.  I heard a few kids shouting, "frown" as I walked off stage.  At least they got it!

Poor Gloria ... will she forever be rhyme-challenged? :)

___________________________________

Day 2

Nancy is trying to tidy up her messy news stand, Gloria walks onstage absorbed in a book.  She plops down on the park bench, ignoring Nancy’s obvious need for help.

Nancy:  This place is a pig sty!  It was windy and then rainy and then windy again and I have papers everywhere!!  If only I had an extra set of hands to help me.  (glances at Gloria)  I said, “If only I had an extra set of hands to help me!”

Gloria:  (startled from behind her book) What?  Did you say something?

Nancy:  Yes, I said, “If only I had an extra set of hands to help me.”

Gloria:  (laughs) Oh ... well that would be weird.  Extra hands?  Where would they come out of?  Out of your feet?  Hey, that could be another poem!  “Extra hands to help you out.  To make your place look neat.  Where would these helper hands come from?  Maybe out of your ankles.”  Ankles?  No, that’s not right.

Nancy: (exasperated)  Gloria ... you have two extra hands that could help me.

Gloria:  Me?  Oh ... right.  I guess so ... it’s just that I was reading this book on “How to Prepare for Your Big Apple Audition” and well ... you know.  I’m kinda busy.

Nancy:  Well, I see that, but it would sure be an extra help to me if you could lend me a hand ... and I know that it would make Jesus happy, too.

Gloria:  What?  How would my helping you out make Jesus happy?

Nancy:  Have you ever heard about the lady in the Bible who showed Jesus love by washing His feet?  She loved Jesus by serving Him and that made Him happy.  In the same way, when we do things for other people by serving them, sharing our things or honoring our parents, Jesus is happy.

Gloria:  Wow!  Well when you put it that way.  I’d love to help you out!  (Starts organizing papers.)  Hey ... I feel another poem coming on!  “Jesus loves when we help our friends,  He really thinks it’s neat, Whether sharing or serving or lending a hand, Or even washing their ... uh, tootsies.”  What do you think?

Nancy:  Well ... it’s pretty catchy.  Can you take this stuff to the recycling for me?  Thanks ...  (shakes her head, laughing)


____________________________


Who else will join us this morning?  I don't know ... but I'm certain God will be there!

This Little Light ...

Today I have the distinct pleasure of guest posting over at (in)courage ... a lovely site full encouraging and life-breathing words.

Pop on over and see what even just a little light can illuminate!

Night Light Fights

P.S.  A little thank you to Terry K. for pointing me in this direction! :)

Foodless Food For Thought

Yep ... today's Food For Thought is lacking a bit in the food department.  Instead, today my thoughts are a tad bit busy with trying to capture and celebrate the snapshots of my big kids' last day of school.  I'm not entirely sure how the year flew by as quickly as it did, but zoooom!  We're done!

Now, 181 days later, twice that many packed lunches (that exhausts me right there!), about 100 trips up and down the hill to school, 5 Art Heritage projects, approximately 30 Wacky Wonderful Wednesdays and 4 trees worth of homework ... and we can say that we have successfully accomplished all that 2nd & 3rd graders should.  And probably a little bit more!

Over the past several weeks, it has been a joy to hear back from Aaron & Norah's teachers about what a pleasure it was to have them in their classes.  Beautiful encouragement for us parents that all our work at home to train up loving, fun and respectful kids is seeing fruit.  That and praying for God to grown them up in Him!  I guess I could say that, like the young boy, Jesus, they have grown, "in wisdom and stature, and in favor with God and man." (Luke 2:52)  Yeah, God!

It has been fun to watch the kids grow over the last many months and not only academically, socially and in maturity ... but in height, too.  Here are my babies ... my how they've changed!

Aaron's First Day of 3rd Grade

Aaron's Last Day of 3rd Grade

I would say that my just-a-little-bit self-conscious boy has loosened up a bit ... a smidgen more of Joe Coolness about him now.  Gratefully, he's still my little guy, giving smooches in the kitchen after breakfast ... he just doesn't have to get on his tip-toes to deliver his kisses now.  It has also been terribly sweet to see Aaron being a faithful friend to his buddies ... in and out and up and down this whole year.  He is a true and loyal friend.

Norah's First Day of 2nd Grade

Norah's Last Day of 2nd Grade

Again, I see a bit more self-confidence in my little girl.  Also, it has given me great joy to see Norah relax and be a bit more silly.  She can take life very seriously ... she is almost paralyzed at times.  As she has maneuvered through 2nd grade, we have seen her laugh at herself more and accept some non-perfection in her life.  Sometimes. :)  Norah also has grown in her friendships and the "Three Peas in a Pod" have been a wonderful source of laughter, learning and love ... it's good to have and BE a friend.

Now for the whole gang.  Remember this snapshot?

First Day of School Last Fall

Even at home, my babies have been growing like, um, not weeds so much ... uh ... growing like that big Bertha pumpkin behind them!  

Ashley and I went through the alphabet this year - a letter a week ... or so.  We finished with the letter "Z" this past week, just in time.  Whew!  She is very excited to start reading now that she knows all her sounds and her writing has improved by leaps and bounds.  I'm not sure how she will make it through the summer knowing that Kindergarten is just around the bend, but I'll try to keep her busy in the meantime.  In addition to these very important skills, she can also blow bubbles with her gum and snap ... so she's definitely a big kid now.

Lydia has transformed this year from a toddler to a kid.  No more diapers, no more bibs and no more help, thankyouverymuch.  Anything the big kids do, she figures she can, too, be it scooting on the skateboard, drinking out of big cups or chewing, uh ... eating gum.  She "can doooo."  She and Ashley are such good friends ... and they are fine-tuning each other on a moment by moment basis.  With minimal refereeing from yours truly. :)

Here's my little monkeys this morning ... I love their scootchiness with each other and their silly, sweet smiles.  And, yes.  The babies are in swimsuits again, this time in honor of Aaron and Norah's Water Field Day at school.  "We've got spirit! Yeah, yeah! We've got spirit!  Yeah, yeah!"  We also might be experiencing a bit of swimsuit chaff ... but we don't care!  :)

I want to kiss each every little nose!

And of, course, I now give you the picture they really wanted me to take ... goofballs!

In just a few snapshots, I am blown away by how different my kids are in just a mere nine months.  

All the more incentive to not blink for the next 18 years! :)

(Can someone pass the eye-drops?)

Please Pass the Tissues

Over the last couple of days, I've had the sniffles.  And a head that appears to have grown two-sizes too big.  Nothing terrible, just that puny feeling you get when you don't feel 100%.  Yesterday my body said, "all done" and in place of getting anything completed in the afternoon, I snoozed.  And drooled.  When I woke up (and realized that I had to get back in gear), this post began "forming in my brain" (know the movie?)

The Top Ten Bonuses of Being Sorta Sick

10.  Napping.  I do love naps, but I have trouble rationalizing them.  But, when you find yourself suddenly unconscious, no guilt there!  Of course when you wake up feeling like a cotton-headed-ninny-muggins, it does take a while to get up and function normally!

9.  Appreciating water.  Have you ever noticed how delicious water is when you're parched?  And when my nose is stuffed and I'm walking around panting, I find that water is utterly delightful for this inadvertent mouth-breather.

8.  Being pampered.  My little people have spoiled me a bit today ... that or they finally gave up expecting much from me.  When Mommy feels puny, you apparently have to fend for yourselves and get your own snacks.  And milk.  And anything else you usually depend upon Mommy for.

7.  Moving slower.  Yesterday was a regularly full Monday, but I was moving in slow-motion.  We usually try to be out the door for grocery shopping by 10:00.  We wandered out the door around 10:30 and I wasn't even stressed.  Mainly because I couldn't make myself move any faster ... pokey, pokey, pokey.

6.  Saying "no".  I did manage a work-out yesterday morning, but when the crazy work-out lady started her kung-fu kicks, I felt absolutely no shame in saying, "That's all you, Lady ... I'm going to just march in place ... or shuffle a bit."

5.  Comfy clothes.  No one looks down on you for wearing your sweats all day when you are sick.  It's also okay to pull your hair back in a pony-tail.  Or stuff tissues in your sleeves.  Well ... maybe that last one's a stretch.

4.  TV.  I don't watch a lot of TV during the day ... it just doesn't seem to fit into my schedule, if you can imagine!  However, on puny days, I'm all for plopping down on the couch and catching up on all the Bobby Flay Throw-Downs I can find.  And to keep my brain from turning to mush, I'll challenge myself with a few episodes of Cash Cab. :)

3.  Sitting.  Typically I put my tennis shoes on in the morning and I don't really stop moving until I take them off at night.  Yesterday, however, when my little Liddy came to me and said, "Bo", I was only to happy to reply, "Yes ... let's go outside and blow bubbles."  As she blowed her "bo's", I sat on the front step, propped myself against the side house and rested my head on the bricks.  Pathetic?  Absolutely.  Embarrassed?  Nope.

2.  Knowing where the Kleenex are.  Next to me.  And so is the trashcan to avoid the mess that Meg Ryan cleaned up right before Tom Hanks visited her in "You've Got Mail".  (One of my all-time favorite scenes in the movie.)

1. Appreciating good health.  I don't realize how much I take for granted my "get up and get 'er done" abilities until I feel under the weather and feel like the day is getting one up on me!  I'm grateful for my good health and I'm grateful for how God, the Good Physician, has knitted me together ... and continues to knit me back together when something goes awry.

Here's to a better (and less sniffly day) tomorrow!

Loving Well

As a mom, one of my main goals of each day is to love my kids.  It sounds simple enough, but it can actually be a bit challenging.  At any given moment in which I find myself with the opportunity to show love to one of my babies, I am faced with the following obstacles:  loving that particular child in a way that speaks to their heart (speaking their love language),  not competing with the other three children for that child's moment with Mommy, and have the oomph and energy to do it with the right motives.  When I'm able to love that child well, even if for just a few minutes, they walk away a little taller and a little more confident and I feel a stronger connection with them.  It's definitely worth the work.  My love is making a difference in that little person's life.  But sometimes ...


There are days when my kids seem to be pouncing on my every nerve ... at the same time.  These are the days when it’s harder to see that my love is making a difference or whether it’s getting lost in the busy-ness of making meals, cleaning house, taxiing kids and wiping noses.

• Did I give those instructions to “wash up for dinner” in a loving manner, or in a “just get it done” fashion?  
• Did I tuck that little one into bed with loving tenderness, or did I just go through the motions so I could get out the door?
• Did I snuggle my little one enough today ... speaking her love language of touch?  
• Did I sign that lunchbox love note from the heart, or did I just do it because it’s expected?

Gratefully, God knows my heart (both my desire to love my kids well and that I'm stretched pretty thin some days) and He gives me little snapshots of proof that my kids are absorbing the love I give them.

The evidence of my love is in the quick hug at the kitchen sink and the, “Thanks for dinner, Mommy” ... from my independent nine-year old boy, no less.

It’s there in the chubby little smile and out-stretched arms of my two-year old in the morning after a good night’s sleep.  Even if bed-time the night before was a bit of a wrestling match.

It’s there when my five-year old reaches up to hold my hand on a walk, and doesn’t want to let go when we get home.

And it’s there when I find that my seven-year old daughter stores up her many lunchbox love notes in the pocket of her backpack to read again.  And again.


Thanks, God, for my kids ... and the opportunity to invest in their little lives.  Help me to love them well.

13 of My Favorite Things

Today is a good day.  And that's in spite of it being a full-speed-ahead, hang-on-to-your-hats, go-go-go-til-bedtime Monday ... 

Today is my Sweetie and my 13th anniversary!  

Thirteen years ago we said, "I do", smooched a bit (okay ... a lot), smiled for hundreds of pictures, danced several dances and headed off on an adventure!  

And now 13 years later ... we're so glad we said, "I do" and daily seek ways to "do" things for one another, we still smooch a lot (much our kids' mixed responses), we take less pictures of us and more of our brood, we sneak a few quick dances in the kitchen and find ourselves speeding along on an adventure that wears us out and thrills us at the same time!

Today I want to press pause on the wild ride that is marriage and family and share 13 of my favorite snapshots of being married to my one true love ... if I can keep it to 13, that is!

13.  Inside jokes from our favorite TV shows ... "And that's why you don't yell!"

12.  Repeated giggles from our favorite movies ... "Sometimes their noses are horns."

11.  Guaranteed kisses during the day ... actually, from five different smoochers.

10.  Praying together ... and being prayed for.

9.  Playing Progressive Rummy when the kids are asleep ... or Yahtzee, Sands, Fluxx, etc.  I think we are pretty even in the win/loss department.

8.  Our four fantastic/wonderful/exhausting/distinctive/precious/ beautiful kids ... the "fruit" of our youth.

7.  Running away for dinner without the monkeys ... and trying not to talk about them, either!

6.  Family vacations with the monkeys ... making memories and starting traditions ... and solidifying our love of hotel elevators.

5.  Being the recipient of Brett's generous heart ... he gives good gifts!  He always knocks my socks off, most recently with tickets to see Les Mis this September!  "I Dreamed a Dream ..."

4.  Being the recipient of Brett's funny heart ... he has a great sense of humor, too.  I have a cast photo from "Ed" hanging in my laundry room, keeping me company while I scrub out grass stains.

3.  Being a part of such a great parenting-team ... training, disciplining, laughing and using "Rock, Paper, Scissors" for the hard stuff.

2.  Cuddling.

1.  Having my bestestest friend also be my hubby.

So young ... and, we are still smiling!

I love you, Sweetie!  xxoo