First Time

I listen as Brett reads; the kids cringe, cackle and cower.  I've read "The Order of the Phoenix" multiple times, but tonight it's fresh.  So is the anxiety, even if I know better.

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Linking up with Trifecta: 33 words to share a first person narrative.

small things {book time}

small things #3 ... book time

It is a true challenge to find good reads for my voracious book worms.  Quite honestly, there is a lot of so-so prose out there and unfortunate themes.  And we have run into a mixed variety of unworthy heroes and undesirable characters.  Then there's the problem of finding a novel that is both interesting to Mommy and intriguing for Aaron and Norah ... a book that makes that precious bed-time routine fun for us all.

So, when we find a gem, we celebrate!  And pass it along to you...

The Mysterious Benedict Society by Trenton Lee Stewart

There are three books in this series and according to the above link, a fourth is due out on April 10th.  That makes me so happy!

I read through the trilogy all on my own and then thought to myself, "The big kids would love these!"  The strong writing, quirky but lovable characters and exciting (but safe) adventures make this a must-read book that both kids and parents enjoy.  A lot.

The author uses puzzles and predicaments to move along the story allowing you, the reader, to puzzle your way through the tasks as well.  He also has a lot of fun with the names of his characters, little puzzles all on their own that paint a broader picture of their strengths and weaknesses.  The four heroes are children and that makes the story relatable to young readers, but they are not quite childlike, having gifts and abilities that make them appealing to adults, too.

I highly recommend this series of books ... a great way to make book time with your kids even more enjoyable.  For you and the kids!

Book time ... connecting with my kids and an another magical world.

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Prompt #1 ~ Book review time!

Snapshots of the Heart ~ Kindness

Junie B. Jones is my favorite literary heroine.  At least in the category of "under the age of six."

Picture from Squidoo.

I love following this little spit fire along in her quest to grow up.  And my kids enjoy it, too.  Any book that makes both Mom and Kid laugh out-loud together is win!

One of my favorite Junie B. adventures is "The Mushy Gushy Valentine."  Followed rather quickly by, "Peep in Her Pocket", "Aloha-ha-ha!", "Jingle Bells, Batman Smells", "One-Man Band", and, uh, "Captain Field Day."  And, "Beauty Shop Guy".  And, "Party Animal."  Yeah ... I pretty much love them all.

In this particular favorite, Junie B. is super-duper excited to celebrate Valentime's Day (as both she and my Ashley say it) and as the book progresses, the suspense builds ... speedy quick!  The author, Barbara Park, accurately and authentically retells the search for the perfect valentime cards, the dilemmas over choosing just the right card for each friend and the anxious anticipation for that long-awaited party!  No doubt Park has endured many a Valentime's Day with her own kids.

The story climaxes when sweet Junie B. discovers that she is short one Valentime's card in her decorated box.  Who could be so cruel as to leave her out?!?  Quite quickly she points the finger at her arch-nemesis That Meany Jim.  As expected, Jim defends himself and shouts back equally hurtful words and things get ugly very quickly.  Just as quickly their teacher steps in to halt this Valentime Altercation.

***spoiler alert*** :)

As it turns out, That Meany Jim didn't skip Junie B. In reality, stuck down in the bottom of her decorated box is a large, fancy, lacy, hearty card.  (Not a meatball as Junie B. first supposes when her teacher points out that there was something still stuck in her "mail box".)  Much to everyone's surprise, this card is from Jim.  And he likes her.  A lot.

What follows is a sweet first-grader conversation that rings true with this Mommy-heart.  Jim, of course, is embarrassed and unsure of how to show his true feelings without being teased.  "I guess I have a crush on you."  Junie B. is dumbfounded regarding this new development.  "But, why are you always so mean to me?"

How often do I hurt the ones I love with unkind words and actions?  Including this morning? ... sigh ...  

As they head out to the playground, they decide that they can be friends and they both make little decisions to treat one another with more kindness.

Kindness.  It's what makes all our friendships work.  Be it child, spouse, parent, sibling.  As well as co-worker, teacher, neighbor, grocery checker-outer.

Kindness is key.  On Valentime's Day ... and the other 364 days of the year.

"Lord, may my children always try to be 

kind to each other and to everyone else."  

1 Thessalonians 5:15

Snapshots of the Heart ~ God's Word

"But why can't I read the fifth Harry Potter book yet?"

"We've already talked about this.  The books get more and more intense as the series progresses.  Each book is a little darker and a little scarier."

"But I don't mind scary."

"I'm sorry.  But you are going to have to wait to read it until much later.  When J.K. Rowling wrote that series she intended her readers to grow along with Harry, so the later books are intended for older kids.  You're just going to have to be patient."

"grumble, mumble, sigh ..."

_____________

"What are you reading?"

"Uh ... this."

"The Berenstain Bears?  Is that really challenging for you?"

"No.  I don't have anything else to read right now."

"What happened to that Ranger's Apprentice book?  The one Dad brought home from the library?"

"I finished it."

.... silence ...

"You finished it?  When?"

"At school.  It was really good."

"You had it for less than 24 hours.  Did you really comprehend it?"

"Yeah."  Begin detailed retelling of the entire story, complete with battle scenes from the war in Skandia. 


______________________

"I can read my school book to you."

"Great.  Come sit with me."

"My Accident."

"Good.  Turn the page."

"My Accident."

"Okay.  Let's get to the story."

"Here I am on my skateboard."

"Good.  That's like Aaron's skateboard."

"Here I am on the ground."

"Oops ... He fell hard.  Ouch.  Your Daddy fell off a skate board when he was a little boy."

"Here I am in the ambulance."

"Uh-oh.  This isn't good.  Daddy broke his arm falling off that skateboard, too."

"Here I am in the hospital."

"Yep.  Daddy had to go to the hospital."

"Here I am in the x-ray room."

"That little boy even looks like your Daddy when he was little.  He has the same freckles and the same bowl cut."

"Here I am in the cast room."

"I wonder if Daddy knows they wrote a story about his accident.  He had a cast on his arm, too."

"Here I am at home."

"Oh my ... look at that pouty lip.  Poor little fellow."

"Look what I have!"

"Oh good!  His daddy brought him some elbow pads and a helmet.  Good job, Sweetie!  You'll have to read that story to Daddy later.  The only page missing was the 'Here I am in surgery.' page."

________________________

"I pick book, Mommy?"

"Sure, you pick out the book and then come sit on the couch with me."

"I pick it out!"

"Great!  Oh.  No ... not this one again."

"Peas, Mommy."

"Can't we read something else?  I can't read this 'My Little Pony' story again.  All those names:  Cheerilee and Toola-Roola and Pinkie Pie and Razzaroo ... they make my head hurt."

"Peas, Mommy!"

"But it's such a silly story.  What pony is going to be able to ride on a scooter?"

"Peeeeas. Moooommmy."

"And in the end they end up make all those things that they rescued out of the trash can.  I know it's very 'green', but it's also kind of annoying."

"Peas.  Mom.  Meee."

"Okay.  But this is the last time.  I definitely need to slip this one into Daddy's bag to take back to the library."

______________________

It makes my heart so very happy to see my kids buried in books.  To see just the tops of their heads peeking out from behind the cover of their latest literary find brings me great joy.  Of course, we've had our fair share of not-so-great books, but it has also been a thrill to share some of my favorite childhood treasures with my growing readers.

But with as much as my kids read, it is still a challenge to get them interested in reading the Bible.  And I can't blame them.

I remember making the commitment to read the Bible on a regular basis and jumping into Genesis.  That went well for the first several pages as I read about the creation of the world and later Noah.  But then begins the long lists of numbers in the book of Numbers and my commitment would slowly peter out.

It wasn't until just a few years ago that my commitment to read through the entire Bible actually came to fruition.  And even then, there were still chunks of the Old Testament that I plodded through without any real comprehension or retention.

Such a challenge of discipline ... but so very good for the soul!

I think if we can keep in mind that this book is a love letter from God ... the history of His enduring love for us ... then the words in this book will come alive for us.  Some of that comes through making regular Bible reading a habit and some of that comes from not rushing through the passages, but taking the time to study and savor the verses.  As our habit of being in God's Word becomes established and as we discover the treasures of wisdom and hope on those pages, we begin to look forward to our Bible time as a time in which we encounter the living God.  And that's time well spent.

There are a number of resources out there for helping you to be in God's Word.  Here are a few to get you started:

YouVersion - A variety of reading plans available either by topic or with the intent of reading through the Bible.  I am currently following the plan Project 345 which takes you through the New Testament in a year.  Take a peek ... I'm sure you can find something to feed your soul.

BibleGateway - This is a great online resource!  A comprehensive concordance and reading plans to help you delve deeper into God's Word.

For a simple daily devotion, I would recommend "Jesus Calling".  There is a kid's version that we are reading with our children, too.  They also have an app for that. :)

Whatever you do, you will see the benefits of spending time in God's Word - getting to know Him better and discovering another wonderful book worth reading.

"May my children grow to find Your Word 

more precious than much pure gold 

and sweeter than honey from the comb."  

Psalm 19:10

We Played. A lot.

For the week after Christmas, I set myself three goals:

Play with the kids,
Knit,
Read.

I am happy to report that I did all three!

It was glorious to not have school, gymnastics or anything else dictating to us schedules and routines.  We got dressed when we wanted to.  We ate meals when we got hungry.  We traipsed outside when the sun was highest (and almost warm).  We played repeated games of Pirate Fluxx ... "Aarrgh, Matey, we be plundering your booty!" And we did this:



I knitted.  And knitted some more.  And still have knitting to do.  I am three-quarters of the way through a fire engine red infinity scarf and I'm excited to finish it up and wear it!  (It's sorta like this ... but made by my slow and fumbly fingers.)  Here's hoping the final several inches of this scarf can be finished before the sweltering summer sun makes the scarf silly!

And I read.  A few times more than I intended.  One afternoon as I sat snuggled in the recliner, I told Ashley that as soon as I finished the chapter I would join her in a game.  She got distracted with a baby doll and I got sucked in again.  Twenty minutes later she inquired if I was still on the same chapter.  I sheepishly apologized and forced myself to put the book down.  At the next available moment, however, I was right back in.

It's entirely possible that I am the last person on the planet to get involved in the Hunger Games Trilogy.  And I'm okay with that. :)  I had actually finished the first book just before Christmas.  As I turned the final pages, I was relieved and uncertain about continuing on with the second book.  I was both intrigued and disturbed by the story.  The intrigue won out.

Now I'm just biding my time until the kids get back to school to start the final book.  My goal is to not neglect my children too much and to get to sleep before midnight.  I'll let you know how it goes!

This break was bliss, but I'm looking forward to getting back to our normal ... whatever that is! :)

What's In a Name?

I am reading through J.R.R. Tolkien's "The Hobbit" with my boy.

Uhm.  Correction:  We were reading "The Hobbit" together, but then Aaron finished it and now I am just trying to finish strong.

Who knew that this classic would grab my son by his knobby little shoulders and take over his life for two weeks?  I'm absolutely thrilled (it sure beats the anime-addiction he was suffering from this Spring), but at the same time I was a bit surprised by his voracious appetite for the adventures of Middle Earth.

For those of you frightened off by the thousands of pages to push through in the Lord of the Rings trilogy, this novel is the prequel.  It tells of the first adventure of dear ol' Bilbo Baggins - headed off with a company of dwarves to recover their ancient treasure from the fierce and fiery dragon Smaug.  And it's the perfect starter book for those who love tall tales told well.

Tolkien is at once a storyteller, poet and master wordsmith.  He weaves a story overflowing with terrible danger, daring rescues, three foot-tall heroes and monstrous villains.  The world that he creates is strange and vast ... and as real as the neighborhood outside my front door.  Within moments of entering into Bilbo's home under the hill, the Shire, Mirkwood Forest and the Lonely Mountain come alive with strange creatures, ancient histories and beautiful languages.  And at the turn of every page, we are transported to Middle Earth and join Bilbo and Company as they trek along in search of their treasure.

Without giving too much away (because I know that you are going to read it now!) I wanted to share with you a passage that I read last night.  Bilbo is fulfilling his role as Burglar and with the help of his mysterious ring that turns him invisible, he has snuck down into the lair of Smaug ... for the second time.  The first time he snitched a golden goblet and Smaug, being your typical dragon, knew exactly what was missing the moment he awoke from his evening nap.  In his fury he hunts down the Thief but because of Bilbo's own craftiness, Smaug is left searching in vain.  During Bilbo's return to the dragon's lair, we read this curious interaction:

"Truly songs and tales fall utterly short of the reality, O Smaug the Chiefest and Greatest of Calamites," replied Bilbo.
"You have nice manners for a thief and a liar," said the dragon.  "You seem familiar with my name, but I don't seem to remember smelling you before.  Who are you and where do you come from, may I ask?"
"You may indeed!  I come from under the hill, and under the hills and over the hills my paths led.  And through the air, I am he that walks unseen."
"So I can well believe," said Smaug, "but that is hardly your usual name."
"I am the clue-finder, the web-cutter, the stinging fly.  I was chosen for the lucky number."
"Lovely titles!" sneered the dragon. "But lucky numbers don't always come off."
"I am he that buries his friends alive and drowns them and draws them alive again from the water.  I came from the end of a bag, but no bag went over me."
"These don't sound so creditable," scoffed Smaug.
"I am the friend of bears and the guest of eagles.  I am Ringwinner and Luckwearer; and I am Barrel-rider," went on Bilbo beginning to be pleased with his riddling.

If you are familiar with the story, you know that Bilbo gives Smaug much more than his name.  He recounts his adventures over the past eight months including his terrifying trip in the grips of a giant eagle, his trip down the elven river atop a barrel-raft and, of course, his pitch-black battle of wits with the horrid Gollum, during which he won the mysterious ring.  This "riddling" reveals more of Bilbo's identity than just his mere name would.  These descriptions reveal what his life has looked like.

In the same way, I often find myself forgoing the use of my given name for titles and names that describe my life.  On any given day, I go by ...

• Sunny-side Up Egg Maker, 
• Plate & Pot Scrubber, 
• Super Sock Sorter, 
• Toddler Wrangler, 
• Pig-n-a-Poke Dresser, 
• Hair Snaggle Detangler, 
• Sibling Referee, 
• Eat Your Veggies Broken Record,
• "Bummer Dude" Discipline Giver,
• Minutest Achievement Cheerleader,
• Action-figure Itty-Bitty Gun Locater, 
• Don't Bite Me Floss Helper, 
• Cuddle Up Book Reader,
• Get Back Into Bed Shepherd, and
• Back In The Saddle Again Mama.

To name a few.  And there are many more that are not related to Mommying.

Of course, these titles don't actually describe who I am, but what I do.  From these titles you can get a pretty good picture of my day to day life and what my role as Mom looks like.  You can also infer from this list of names my love for my children and my passion for creating a haven for my family.  So while I typically shy away from labels, these monikers reveal more about me than my birth name would.

We can do a similar name study of God and discover His role in our lives and His enduring character.  Here are a few titles to get you started:

• Redeemer ~ Making Us New (Job 19:25)
• Bread of Life ~ Our Sustainer (John 6:35)
• Counselor ~ Guide & Help (Isaiah 9:6)
• Faithful & True ~ Dependable (Revelation 19:11)
• Abba ~ Our Daddy (Romans 8:15)
• Great Shepherd ~ Protector (Hebrews 13:20)
• Rock ~ Our Foundation (1 Corinthians 10:4)
• Author of Life ~ Our Beginning (Acts 3:15)
• Immanuel ~ God With Us (Isaiah 7:14)
• Living Water ~ Satisfying Our Spiritual Thirst (John 4:10)
• Potter ~ Molding Us Daily (Isaiah 64:8)
• Vine ~ Our Life Line (John 15:5)

With every page in God's Bible, we see another description of our Heavenly Father.  In much the same way that Tolkien wove together a picture of Bilbo and his warrior spirit, God paints us a picture of Himself.  Through God's Word we discover His strength, love, compassion, mercy and power.

Unlike Bilbo, however, God is not a creation or a character in a book.  He is real and Faithful & True.

What If ...

Growing up, we read a lot of Shel Silverstein.  And honestly, I wasn't quite sure about that guy.  His drawings looked like something I could have done - a little bit childlike.  His poems were pure silliness (sometimes mixed with a little bit of creepiness) - perfect goofball humor for elementary-aged kids.  And his picture on the book jacket confirmed to me that he was a just a little bit different - what was with the furry beard and bald head?

But I was hooked on his words and can still remember some of my favorites ...

Ickle Me, Pickle Me, Tickle Me Too

"Ickle Me, Pickle Me, Tickle Me too, 

Went for a ride in a flying shoe ..."

The Beard

"My beard grows to my toes, 

I never wears no clothes, 

I wraps my hair, 

Around my bare, 

And down the road I goes."

The Hat

"Teddy said it was a hat, 

So I put it on. 

Now Dad is saying, "Where the heck's

the toilet plunger gone?"

Reading back through his books with my kids ...

I'm still not sure about that guy!  Still childlike, silly, creepy and goofy, but now I see how he appealed to the kids and the adults alike and managed to entertain us all and even educate us a little.  And give us all a good chuckle/shudder/snort!

One poem in particular, has truly stuck with me and I find myself repeating it back to myself periodically.

Whatif

By Shel Silverstein

Last night, while I lay thinking here,

some Whatifs crawled inside my ear

and pranced and partied all night long

and sang their same old Whatif song:

Whatif I'm dumb in school?

Whatif they've closed the swimming pool?

Whatif I get beat up?

Whatif there's poison in my cup?

Whatif I start to cry?

Whatif I get sick and die?

Whatif I flunk that test?

Whatif green hair grows on my chest?

Whatif nobody likes me?

Whatif a bolt of lightning strikes me?

Whatif I don't grow taller?

Whatif my head starts getting smaller?

Whatif the fish won't bite?

Whatif the wind tears up my kite?

Whatif they start a war?

Whatif my parents get divorced?

Whatif the bus is late?

Whatif my teeth don't grow in straight?

Whatif I tear my pants?

Whatif I never learn to dance?

Everything seems well, and then

the nighttime Whatifs strike again!

Having a nervous nelly-belly, I remember a lot of those same Whatifs visiting me at night when I was growing up!


Lately, however, my Whatifs have taken on a different look.  A bit of a "What If Mommy Didn't" look.


I don't know about you other parents, but doesn't it seem like you spend an inordinate amount of time picking up, straightening up, and putting back around your house?  And more often than not, it's not your stuff?!?


On any given day, I have to wonder ...

• What if I didn't pick the shoes off the floor that almost just barely made it into the shoe bin?
• What if I didn't wipe the ginormous crumbs off the table that somehow fell off someone's plate?
• What if I didn't carry upstairs the 2 1/2 pairs of socks that someone left on the bottom step?
• What if I didn't scoop up the random pile of Legos from the dining room floor before vacuuming?
• What if I didn't hang up the sweatshirts that repeatedly jump off their hooks?
• What if I didn't wipe the crunchies off the kitchen bench ... the ones nobody else seems to mind sitting on?
• What if I didn't put the stool back where it belongs, instead of in the middle of the hall?
• What if I didn't wipe the nasty glob of toothpaste off the countertop ... right next to the gooey smear of hand soap?
• What if I didn't put the gallon of milk back in the fridge?
• What if I didn't clear the half dozen board books off the couch and from behind the pillows?
• What if I didn't hang up the sodden towel on the very available bathroom hook?
• What if I didn't gather into the trash all the semi-used Kleenex from someone's bed?
• What if I didn't pick up the baseball cap and glove and ball and bag from the dining room?
• What if I didn't re-straighten the pillows and blankets haphazardly strewn across the couch?
• What if I didn't hang up the pj's and toss the dirty undies in the hamper?
• What if I didn't re-shelve the library books that have escaped the bookshelf?

What if?  What if?  What if?


I think it's very likely that the kitchen would be grungy, the floor would be littered and the general cleanliness of our house would give me a twitch.  


But ... maybe, just maybe, I'm missing out on some very teachable moments with my kids.  I know that I don't give them enough credit for what they are able to do and I know that sometimes I don't give them enough opportunities to prove they can be responsible.  Too often I think that it's just easier for me to pick up the socks, toys, towels and books rather than setting that responsibility back on their little, but able shoulders.  In reality, it's a disservice to them for me to continue to clean up after them.


So ... here and now (raising my right hand) I am committing to handling this "What If?" problem a little differently.  Instead of picking up the Barbie or StarWars action figure and putting it away, I going to put it in my "Buy Back Bin".  Instead of re-hanging the towels or sweatshirts, I'll put them in my "Buy Back Bin".  Instead of saving the Legos from the vacuum and putting them away, I'll put them in my ... say it with me ... "Buy Back Bin".  Instead of tidying up the couch, throwing away the Kleenex or returning the milk to the fridge, I'll notify the guilty party and they can do it, plus a job from the "Great Learning Box".  There's the potential for this to be a little more work for me, but I have to remember that it's an investment in me not spending the rest of my life picking up after my kids!  Especially since they are all 100% capable of doing that job themselves.


With the number of items that I step over on a daily basis, I think I'm going to need a bigger "Buy Back Bin" and a few more chores in the "Great Learning Box"!  But, I think I'll also have a few more minutes in my day, a few less grumbles in my mind and heart, children learning the benefits of responsibility ... and a really clean house!


Want to join me in the "Wipe Out the What Ifs" crusade?  It promises to be rather liberating!


_____________________________________


I wrote this post on Saturday (in the throes of a "put your stuff away" mommy-tantrum!).  We had a brief pow-wow while sitting around the breakfast table and put the plan into immediate effect.  Currently the "Buy Back Bin" contains two shoes (that don't match), a pair of flip flops, some random toys, a light saber and someone's slightly damp bathroom towel.  But, I also have three kids who are significantly more aware of their own things (out of fear of losing them, no doubt) and a tidy-er home.  Now if we can just keep it up!

Wanted: A Good Read

Just a brief warning ... I end up on my soapbox for a portion of this post ... proceed with caution. :)

I am a professed bookworm.  Growing up, I spent 98% of my life with my nose in a book.  Just ask my mom.  And as it turns out, it's apparently genetic!

On any given afternoon, Aaron and Norah will be plopped somewhere reading, too.  And even Ashley and Lydia enjoy to "read" their books during our down-times in the afternoon.  I truly do love to see my kids snuggled down into the couch and absorbed in a book.  The challenge lately has been finding worthwhile books for them to get absorbed into.

Last week, Aaron approached me with a question.  He wanted to read "Diary of a Wimpy Kid", but he knew that I had already vetoed the book last fall.

"Really?", I thought, "Didn't we already discuss this?"

Here's the recap:  Aaron came home with the first book of the series and wanted to read it.  I wasn't too thrilled, but I truly had no basis for my feelings except for a quick flip through the pages:  cartoons, a few references to words we don't use in our house and some bathroom humor.  Still, I wanted to be able to give him an actual reason so we logged on to Facts on Fiction* ... there in black and white was all the reasons we wouldn't be reading the book.  The number one reason was the multiple references to bullying.  "Sorry, Buddy."  He said, "Okay" and returned the book to the school library.

Fast forward several months and here he was again with a different book in the same series.  But he had a good plan this time.

"Mom, would you be willing to read the book and then you can decide if it's okay for me to read?"

Hmmmm ... that sounds kind of like something I would propose.  Smarty-pants kid. :)

"Sure.  I'll read the book and then we'll make a decision based on the facts.  And you'll be okay with the verdict, right?"

"Right."

So ... over the weekend I read the second book in the series: "Rodrick Rules".  I would have read the first ... but they were all checked out from the library.  Yet more proof if this book's popularity.

In the second paragraph of the book, the main character calls his brother a "jerk".  That actually was enough for me, but a deal is a deal and so I lumbered on.

About half-way through the book, I felt I had plenty of proof to write off the entire series, the movies and any video games that might be out there.  But ... I had promised to read the whole thing before passing a judgement.  Perhaps in the end of the book there would be something positive, something redeeming, something worth reading.

Nope.

By the end of the book, I had a list a mile long of all the aspects of the book that were inappropriate and unpleasant.  ...sigh...  Now I had to tell my kids that the book was a "no-go".  I hate this part of being a mom ... disappointing my kids.

And that's when I started to talk myself out of saying "no".  As I laid in bed that night, I had a few thoughts run through my head:

"Is it really that big of a deal?"
"It's just a book, right?"
"Their friends are reading it ..."
"We could talk about it together."

The next morning at church, I was still mulling over the book and my pending decision when I had a little epiphany ... involving the drummer on-stage.  Let me explain:

In the book, Rodrick is the main character's brother and he plays the drums.  A lot.  In fact, that is the only thing he does.  At one point the mom asks Rodrick to give drum lessons to his younger brother, Greg.  The story that ensues involves the older brother belittling the younger brother until Greg finally gets fed up and goes downstairs to play video games instead.  The impression left of me of this brother was someone completely and utterly lacking in character.  As I told Brett, he suffered from role-model-ship-less-ness.  (Nope ... that's not a real word, but you get the picture.)  Actually ... the entire cast suffered from role-model-ship-less-ness.  Mom, Dad ... even Grandma!  And that's what finally nailed the coffin in this book for me:  would I want my kids to look up to any of these characters in the book and say, "I want to be like him!"?  No way!

In contrast, I could honestly say that the drummer on stage (the catalyst for this 5 second revelation) is someone who I would choose to invite to have a positive impact on my kids.  This sudden insight strengthened my conviction that what we let our kids read does matter!  They are little sponges and they absorb everything they see, read and hear.  By rationalizing the impact that this book could possibly have on my kids, I was inviting them to absorb pages and pages of bad behavior, rudeness, disrespect, dishonesty and disloyalty.  Yuck.

I was also setting myself up to deal with all that garbage coming back out of my kids!  That saying, "Garbage in ... garbage out" is true, I'm afraid.  Did I really want to see or hear any of the lousy behavior portrayed in these books in my home?  Not one bit.

I felt empowered in my decision and I felt empowered as I stepped out as an advocate for my kids ... protecting them from something seemingly benign that could actually act as a poison in their minds and hearts.

Later that afternoon, Aaron, Norah and I plopped down on the couch to talk about the book.  Aaron's first words were, "It's a no, isn't it?"  Sorry, Buddy.

By the time I had finished listing all the examples of lying, cheating, manipulating, bullying, shirking, sneaking, deceiving and faithlessness-ing (another of my special words), both the kids were shaking their heads.

"Yuck," said Norah, "Don't say anymore."

Another Smarty-pants kid! :)

Aaron was certainly more disappointed and he even teared up a bit.  I know that he feels a little pressure from friends who like the books and we all know that peer pressure is hard.  But, then he made a couple of comments about how Jesus wouldn't like the book much either, and I felt like he had come to terms with the facts.

In the end, I left the decision up to them.  I told them that I hoped that they would choose to read something different, but that it was up to them.  Here's hoping they make the wise choice.

There are a few book series that we have really enjoyed:  Geronimo Stilton, The Mysterious Benedict Society, Junie B. Jones, Chronicles of Narnia, The Magic Tree House and we are reading through the second Harry Potter book together.

So ... my question to you all is:

What do your 3rd and 4th grade kids enjoy reading?
What would you recommend?

Summer is coming and I need my kids to be happily snuggled on the couch with a good book for part of that time.  I want something that will interest them and entertain them ... while at the same time filling their minds with characters and situations that are going to build them up and challenge them to be strong in their role-model-ship-ness! :)

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* I wrote another post last fall about several websites that I use to check out shows, video games and books before my kids get hooked ... hope they help you, too!

Free From This Old Skin

When I was growing up, I read through all of the Chronicles of Narnia.  Then in college I read them again .... and actually appreciated them!  Recently Brett and the kids were reading through A Horse and His Boy.  When I asked the kids where they were in the book, I got caught up in the imagery again of the race to Archenland and the mystery of talking animals.  Such a wonderful read!

And the recent movies based on the books have been stunning, too!  A little too intense for my brood, but Brett and I have enjoyed the first two.  If you can imagine, we haven't yet made it out of the house to see "The Voyage of the Dawn Treader" ... we typically plan those outings a few weeks in advance! :)  But I have heard that it is a visual treat as well.  That story is possibly one of my most favorite tales ... for one scene in particular.  I'm not certain that it's in the movie, but I hope so.

I'll set up the story for you ...

Lucy and Edmund have returned to Narnia, this time with their unpleasant cousin, Eustace.  He is a stinker ... with a capital "S".  Eustace is a trouble-maker, a whiner and a greedy little ...well, Stinker. :)  Throughout the first half of the book he complains and grumbles and then he ends up in a bit of a pickle.  He finds himself in a dragon's lair and due to his greed, is actually turned into a dragon.  (Let that be a lesson to you:  If you find yourself face to face with a dragon's glittering treasure ... don't try to take any of it!)  Now he finds himself a dragon:  scaly, lumpy and snaky.  A little snapshot of just what he was like on the inside:  horrid, snake-like and stinky.

Upon being reunited with his cousins, they are shocked and he is shunned.  What are they supposed to do with a dragon?  Even if he is their cousin and he is feeling remorseful for all his stinky-ness ... he is still a dragon, and a serious problem.  He is forced to sleep outside of camp and begins to truly feel badly for what a rotten, selfish, whiney mess he has been.  As a constant reminder of his greed, one of the dragon's golden bracelets is cutting into Eustace's scaly leg, making him even more miserable.  But here's where the story gets good.

One night, Eustace is sitting and picking at his swollen, sorry, snaky leg when a lion approaches him. He describes himself as being "afraid of it" (page 107) not that it would eat him, but just because of who it was.  Aslan.  The lion leads Eustace down to a well with, "water bubbling up from the bottom" (page 107).  When the poor dragon sees it, he knows in his heart that it would be so refreshing to bathe in it and it would certainly make his swollen limb feel better.  But before stepping in, the lion tells him he must undress first.

For the next several minutes, Eustace "undresses" himself out of his snaky, slithery, stinky skin by scratching.  It was just, "as if [he] was a banana" (page 108).  After peeling off his layer of old, scaly skin, he goes to step into the water, but is surprised to see that there is another snaky, slithery, stinky layer underneath.  And another.  And another.  The poor fellow is desperately trying to get out of his old skin and finds that he can't.  Here's where I tear up every time ...

Aslan says, "You will have to let me undress you." (page 108)  Eustace confesses that he was afraid of the lion's claws, but he felt a keen desperation to be free from this scaly prison.  I'll let C.S. Lewis tell you what happened next in his own words:

The very first tear he made was so deep that I thought it had gone right into my heart.  And when he began pulling the skin off, it hurt worse than anything I've ever felt.  The only thing that made me able to bear it was just the pleasure of feeling the stuff peel off. ... He peeled the beastly stuff right off - just as I thought I'd done myself the other three times, only they hadn't hurt - and there it was lying on the grass: only ever so much thicker, and darker, and more knobbly-looking than the others had been.  And there was I as smooth and soft as a peeled switch and smaller than I had been.  (page 109)

Poor Eustace winds up a horrendous scaly creature because of his selfish, stubborn snaky-habits ... but finds healing in the fierce touch of "the great Lion, the son of the Emperor-beyond-the Sea" (page 111).  And he ends up a meek and mild young man ready to approach life differently, with humility and grace. He is a different character from here on out and it is exciting to see his transformation and new life!

How often have I tried to get out of my old skin, my old habits, my old stinky-ness and found that I was unable?  So many, many times!  But here in this children's book is the true key to being free from our old scaly skin ... letting Jesus do the hard, painful work of "undressing" us.   Only with His help do we have any hope of being "smooth and soft".  And only after yielding to His work in our lives will be "smaller" ... less of us and our pride and self-sufficiency ... and more of Him!

As I'm sure you have already guessed :) ... Sara Groves has a song about this very topic.  And as you can imagine ... it's one of my favorites!  This is from her album, "The Other Side of Something".

Like A Skin

By Sara Groves
The butterfly can just look back Flap those wings and say Oh, yeah I never have to be a worm again The snake gets tired of being him He wriggles from that itchy skin Leaves it lying where he’s been and moves on I’ve been longing for something tangible Some kind of proof that there’s been change in me Feels like I have been waking up Only to fight with the same old stuff Change is slow and it fills me with such doubt Come on New Man where have you been Help me wriggle from this Self I’m in And leave it like a skin upon the ground

We all have old "skin" that we would like to wriggle out of and leave behind us "upon the ground".  Just   to keep us on a level playing field ... I'll share a few of mine. :)  I have a dreadful habit of sighing (ewww ...), throwing myself a "what about me?" pity party when I have a tough go at something (ughh ...), and an unhealthy fixation with what other people think of me (hmph ...).

Sometimes I feel like these are parts of me that I will never be free of ... that I'll forever be a sighing, grumbling, self-centered stinker. :)  But then I remember the promise that God makes in 2 Corinthians 5:17:  If anyone is in Christ, the new creation as come:  the old has gone, the new is here!  Yeah!

That means that if I trust Jesus to work in my life and let Him do the tough, painful work of undressing me of my old, unhealthy habits, He will make me new.  And someday, I will see "proof that there's been a change in me".  I'm looking forward to it because I have a whole life ahead of me ... and I don't want to stay a stinker!

Reverse Psychology

Our family loves to go to the library.  Ever since Aaron was a little guy, we have made it a habit to take family trips to the local library to refresh our shelves ... for free!  There are a lot of fantastic books out there to enjoy with our kids.  There are also plenty of ho-hum books and a fair share of lack-luster books, but more often than not, we end up with a few true winners every month.   Here are some of our favorites.  Maybe there's a book or two perfect for some little person for Christmas! :)

I remember loving Chris Van Dusen's colorful daydream of a book, If I Built a Car.  The rhyming verses and expressive illustrations made it fun for the reader as well as the picture-looker.  I think that if you looked at our library card history, you would see that we have borrowed that one a number of times.

Then there was Noodle Man:  The Pasta Superhero by April Pulley Sayre.  That was a hoot!  Who knew an entire action-packed book could be filled with a noodle-maker and his pasta.  We learned a lot about noodles with this book, as well as, how we could use noodles to stop robbers or help old ladies to cross the street!

We have also fallen in love with John Lithgow as a children's author.  I never would have imagined that this silly man could be so poetic!  By far, our two favorites by Lithgow would be The Remarkable Farkle McBride (just saying the title makes me smile) and Micawber.  In the book about Farkle, we read about a musical prodigy as he struggles to find his niche.  With hilarious pictures and delightful rhymes, there is no way to not enjoy Farkle's journey.  It's a definite read-aloud book with all it's BOOM's and CRASH's!  In Micawber, we read about a little squirrel who loves to visit the art museum.  Then one fateful day, he sneaks home with a painter and he's never quite the same!  The illustrations in this book are wonderful ... sweet Micawber truly comes alive in this story!

For sweet bed-time books, I love Niccolini's Song by Chuck Wilcoxen and Russell the Sheep by Rob Scotton.  In Niccolini's Song, we read about a train conductor that sings his trains to sleep at night.  One one night in particular, he faces an even bigger job ... a town full of people needing help to get to sleep.  Such a sweet story and the pictures are beautiful.  Russell the Sheep is delightfully silly.  Scotton's pictures of Russell and his frog friend are so cute and the story is even cuter.  A perfect read for anyone who has little one's who have trouble getting settled at night.

Of course, I have to mention a book dear to my heart.  That would be, How Much, Woodchuck? by my mom, Linda Louise Ashley.  Here is a book that was long in the making ... my mom had the verses written back when I was a wee-one.  A few years ago she put the illustrations together and published this fun book.  This one we have living in our home ... to be read again and again! :)

My list of Kellum-faves could go on and on ... but there is one more author that I wanted to highlight.  Amy Krouse Rosenthal has three wonderful books available that you truly need to read.  In each delightful book she presents a typical childhood problem, gives it a splendid little twist and treats us to a snapshot of opposite-world!

For example, in Little Pea, we meet our roly-poly green friend and his family.  Everything seems normal enough, but for one thing:  Little Pea doesn't want to have to eat his candy.  Blech!

In Little Hoot, our tiny feathered friend battles with his parents about not wanting to stay up all night.  Why can't he go to bed when all his friends do?!

Finally in Little Oink (perhaps my favorite) we meet a little piggy who hates to make messes and would rather clean his room.  We all dream of little kids who say, "May I go clean my room please?"

Each book brings a lighthearted view to some potentially challenging aspects of parenting.  Snuggle in for a read and get a fresh perspective about growing up ... and give your kids something funny to think about, too.

I'm looking forward to her future books.  If I could place my requests, I would ask for:

• Little Stinky:  The skunk who loves to take baths and scrub behind his ears.
• Little Grunt:  The burro who loves to help take out the trash ... and bring in the groceries.
• Little Bunny:  The little friend who loves to clean out under the refrigerator, washer and dryer.
• Little Woof:  The puppy who likes to clean up after himself ... outside.

The T. P. Club

We all know that timeless adage, "Laughter is the best medicine."  It is 100% true ... no matter what ails you!  And I know first hand that nothing beats a bad day with crazy kids like a good laugh.  I am quite certain that the days when Brett is home or my mom is up, the ability to laugh with someone over the cuckoo-headed craziness of our house makes the whole day better.  There is nothing like sitting across the table from someone who has just witnessed the insane naughtiness of your sweet little one and being able to raise an eyebrow and smile.  Somehow being in the parenting-trenches together with someone who has a good sense of humor and who can help us laugh off the stress and trouble of parenting makes it not nearly as exhausting.  It's the long days when I haven't laughed or been unable to "find the funny" in a certain situation that makes me a grump.

Now ... the trouble with relying on another adult to see the humor in a situation is that 87% of the time, I'm alone with the kids.  Hmmm ... that is a pickle!  What is the solution?  Well ... I have found that laughter with my kids is equally powerful!  In spending as much time with my kids as I do, it's easy to find that what they say and think is really pretty funny ... at least to each other!  My problem is that often I get hung up on being more mature (is there such thing as a cultured sense of humor?) or I find myself too busy to catch the little jokes that tickle their funny bones.  The trick is figuring out what makes them laugh, tossing aside my age (and that I'm "Mom") and joining in whatever silliness they are enjoying.  And you are guaranteed that there is a lot of silliness to enjoy.

Aaron is, by far, my favorite kid to laugh with.  He has this wonderful little giggle, his face turns pink and (because he's my son) he frequently has to bolt for the bathroom!  I can tell he likes laughing with me, too, because when he finds something that gets me laughing, he puts it on replay ... over and over and over again.  I don't know if it's because he's a boy or because he's the first born and by default we are sometimes more serious with him or if it's because he's often off with buddies, but finding time to laugh with him has become my quest and my means of staying close to him.

Norah has a terrific sense of humor and is regularly making little wise-cracks.  Lately, however, she has begun to dabble in physical humor.  She makes this ridiculous face, does a little march like an oompa-loompah and adds a strange little grumbly voice to her act ... it's a hit every time.  I think it's because she is so cute and yet before you eyes she transforms herself into this strange little man.  And she knows she is funny ... you can see it in her crazy, wide-eyes!

Ashley is a little quieter when it comes to being a jokester.  She is more prone to giggle along with everyone else and adding to whatever they are doing.   She has found that if she says something funny, sometimes it's even funnier the second or third time.   As a result we sometimes have to reel her in as she will repeat her favorite catch-phrase ad finitum.  She does have a wonderful little hysterical giggle that is rather contagious ... you don't even have to know the source of the laughter to join in.

Lydia is certainly the clown in our 4-ring circus!  She knows better than anybody how to work a room and get the desired response.  Seeing as she has three enraptured audience members who will chuckle at just about anything she does, we often find ourselves having to be the rain on her parade when she is confusing comedy with mischief.  For example, the kids love when she wrestles with them, zerberts their legs and bounces on their bellies.  They will laugh and squeal at her silliness ... but then she grabs a handful of hair and gives it a good tug and the fun is over.  We have had to be rather stern with the big kids about not encouraging her in her bad behavior ... even if she looks really cute while she is doing it!

Now I will be the first to admit that my kids are not always funny. :)  We experience our fair share of whining, moping, fighting and grumbling.  The goal then is to find little bits throughout the day to share in a few good laughs.   We have a few shows that we enjoy watching with the kids, mainly because we enjoy the good clean humor and silliness.  We have several seasons of "The Cosby Show" on DVD and this summer we set aside Tuesday nights to giggle our way through "Wipeout".  We have also rented "The Muppet Show" from our local library and that has been fun to watch with the kids ... and remember back to when we were kids, too!  We also enjoy reading some funny books with the kids ... you can't beat snuggling up with your little ones and having a good chuckle at "Calvin & Hobbes" or "Junie B. Jones".

Recently we were reading "Judy Moody" by Megan McDonald at bedtime and ended up with one of those hysterical laughing sessions that sent Aaron running from the room.  In the book, Judy and her friend Rocky are both fretting because neither are them belong to any clubs.  At this point, Judy spots a toad in the grass.  Out of curiosity she picks him up only to have the silly little guy pee on her!  Rocky thinks this is hysterical until it happens to him.  At that moment, they realize they are two new members of the "T. P. Club" ... the Toad Pee Club!  Now, as to be expected, any sort of bathroom humor like this typically gets the kids going, but the added bonus was that just a few days prior we had been camping and sure enough Timmy the Toad had peed on my hand.  The kids busted up laughing ... Mommy was in the "T. P. Club", too!  It was one of those sweet snapshots, hearing myself laughing right alongside my kids and ending the day on a great note!

Where Did You Learn THAT?

Ever notice how our kids are little sponges?  They see/hear/read something and the next thing you know, they are doing it!  Our little people are hard at work absorbing the world around them, processing in their little minds what they see and hear and then deciding whether their new "thing" is something that they should share with the rest of us.  Sometimes I'm glad they share.  I love to hear my little 4-year old singing her jumbled up version of "Come, Now is the Time to Worship".  She has heard the song a lot, she catches most of the words and then she repeats back what she has learned.  It is sweet.

Some times, however, it's not so sweet.  I remember once overhearing Aaron call his sister something yucky.  I was shocked to hear him say it ... and dumbfounded by where he heard it.  I was very quick to call him to the kitchen and administer the Kellum-family consequence to hurtful words:  a drop of Tabasco on his tongue.  As he sat and cried, I fumed.  Until he asked through his sniffles, "What does that word mean?" Time-out for Mommy :)  He didn't even know what he had said - he was just repeating something someone else had said.  I delicately explained why the word was inappropriate and apologized for jumping to the conclusion that he was being intentionally hurtful.  We agreed that the word was mean and that we wouldn't use it again.  This was a perfect example of my little boy hearing something he wasn't ready for, something he didn't need to know and then being made responsible for something too big for him.

I think we can do the same things to our kids by allowing them to read books, see movies or play video games that chip away at their innocence and make them grow up too fast.  Here in our home we are quite protective of the books, movies and videos that our kids enjoy.  I would be the first to admit that I am protective about what I allow my kids to absorb, while at the same time finding safe types of media to keep them happy and entertained.

Naturally, this sheltering has become more of a challenge as the kids get older.  When they are little, it is easy to limit what they watch on TV and I am usually the one reading the books, so I've got that area covered!  The older kids, however, have many more influences through friends, school and the media ... and that is a tough job for us.  Happily, we have found a number of resources on the internet that help us to check out the latest movie, book or video game that Aaron & Norah are interested in BEFORE we have invested any time or money in it.  Often times it also saves us energy later on of having to eradicate all the inappropriate gunk we wish they hadn't experienced in the first place.  I hope you find them helpful.

For movies, we like to check out Kids In Mind.  This is a great website for checking out the latest movies (and some old favorites, too) before you head to the theater or video store.  Each movie is ranked on a scale of 1-10 in three categories:  Sex/Nudity, Violence/Gore and Profanity.  They then list each and every instance of each category.  They also list any instances of substance abuse, they share a list of possible discussion topics that might come about from viewing the movie and a generalized message of the film.  It's kinda like watching the movie without actually watching it!  We have been able to steer clear of a few movies that seemed okay and were apparently catered to kids ... and yet included language or adult situations that we didn't want to share with our kids.   This a great, free resource no parent should be without!  And it's good for us adults, too. :)

For books, I have found Facts on Fiction to be helpful.  This site isn't quite as exhaustive as Kids In Mind, but they are working hard to cover more and more literature.  I have used them a number of times when the kids have come home with a book that I wanted to check out first.  Each book they review is picked apart and rated in the following categories:  Positive Elements, Mature Subject Matter, Profanity/Language, Sexual Content, Violence/Illegal Activity, Tobacco/Alcohol/Drugs and Disrespectful/Anti-Social Elements.  (Are they thorough, or what?!?)  Each category is broken down even further and rated.  There will be no surprises for you in knowing exactly what your kids are reading.  They also give each book a reading level so that you can be sure that your child is reading a book that will challenge them.  Aaron and I checked out this site when he came home with a questionable book.  We sat down and looked at the charts and it was very easy for Aaron to see why I wasn't thrilled with the book.  I left him to make his own choice (based on what he had seen) and he chose to return it.  That was a Proud-Mommy-Moment!

Finally, for video games, I go to Common Sense Media.  This sight also reviews movies, websites, TV shows, books and music ... you're one-stop-monitoring site!  I have only used it for the video game reviews, but I'm sure the rest of the sight is just as helpful.  For video games they have a very thorough system for insuring you know exactly what your kids are playing.  They rate the game on the following:  age-appropriateness, whether it's even any good :), ease of play, educational value, messages, role models, violence, sex, language, consumerism and drinking/drugs/smoking.  Again ... they are very meticulous.  And that is just the beginning!  They also give you tons of background info on the game so you can decide for yourself based on your own research.  They have a very large library of games reviewed and I have yet to have a game Aaron or Norah were interested in that wasn't listed.

I know it is hard to shield our kids from every bad influence, but these websites are a few tools in your toolbox that will help make the job a little easier.

As I was finishing up this post, I had to laugh at the number of times that I have thought back fondly on a movie from my childhood only to discover in the recent past that there was a lot to it that I just didn't "get" ... and that was probably a good thing!  I'm sure you can relate.  I remember seeing "Grease" in college (years and years after watching it as a kid ~ singing and dancing and re-enacting all the best scenes) and being absolutely astonished as to what they were all singing and dancing about! :)  Wow!  Not like I remembered it as a 10 year-old.  Brett and I still laugh about the time in college when we rented "Flash Gordon", another movie we had both seen as kids.  There were multiple sexual references ... some insinuated ... some rather blatant.  We laughed nervously and chalked that one up as one we wouldn't recommend!

I add this because inevitably our kids are going to see and hear things we wish they wouldn't.  But the odds are good that much of it will "fly over their heads" and they will be more interested in the action or story and miss much of what we are squirming about.  So ... I plan to monitor what my kids see and pray they miss-out on that other "stuff".