Friday, November 9, 2012

Introducing Peter Counterman

Peter stepped out of the main office and into the hall of his new school.  Waves of noise and busyness washed over him - lockers clanged, students shouted, laughter erupted to his left.  He scanned the hallway taking in the hustle and bustle of Great Heights Middle School.

341 lockers.

5,492 tiles.

51 fluorescent bulbs.

297 middle school students.

Peter closed his eyes for a moment, trying to silence the overwhelming evidence that he was the new kid.  Again.  He slung his navy blue backpack over his shoulder, summoned his courage and stood up straight.  Then he thought better of it and slouched, hoping to better blend his lanky 5 foot 10 inch frame in among his fellow students.  In spite of his efforts, he still stood a head taller than his classmates.  

Peter caught his reflection in the glass of the trophy case and rolled his eyes.  He attempted to tame the shock of black hair that stood up from the back of his head.  He had that popular look of having just gotten out of bed, albeit unintentionally.  Giving up on his unruly hair, he tugged the front of his shirt straight and pulled on his sleeves, making them even.  He might not be able to make his hair behave, but he could still control his clothes and that was one of the reasons he preferred to wear stripes.  Stripes, like math, were predictable, orderly and organized.

Peter took in his unfamiliar surroundings while his mind counted what he saw.  The ticker tape of numbers flickering before his eyes was the only part of this morning that wasn’t foreign.

“Come on.  The bell's gonna ring.”  He felt a tug from the older student standing at his elbow.  “You don’t want to be late to Mr. Hink’s class.  Trust me.”


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Linking up with The Red Dress Club.  This week's prompt:  300 words about something new.  These are the opening lines to my NANOWRIMO project.  Peter is shaping up to be a pretty cool kid, a little odd perhaps, but odd in a good way.

11 comments:

  1. I like it. I want to know more about Peter.

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  2. At first I thought he was the Principal of the School, as if the school itself was new and that's why he knew the specs but then realized that he was a student which made me curious about this boy, a meticulous mind in a young teens body.

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  3. I also thought he was the Principal at first.This is good, but it didn't catch me until the 2nd para. after the countdown :
    "Peter closed his eyes for a moment, trying to silence the overwhelming evidence that he was the new kid."
    This is where I was hooked. can't wait to find out more about Peter the odd, cool kid.

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  4. You did a great job of capturing a moment. I especially liked the line, "Then he thought better of it and slouched, hoping to better blend his lanky 5 foot 10 inch frame in among his fellow students." I can so picture an awkward kid doing this.

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  5. Definitely intrigued by this meticulous kid, Peter. Love the way you start setting his character up by knowing all those numbers.

    stopping by from the WOE link up

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  6. I agree: we want to know more about Peter! You are off to a great start, Morgan.

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  7. Perhaps a boy with some obsessive compulsive traits? It will be interesting to see where you take this!

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  8. I would say you very effectively captured scene and character because I have knots in my stomach. I wouldn't want to be back in his place for anything! Bullies, clichés, pimples...yikes!

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  9. Oh I am so glad you're doing NaNoWriMo! You go girl! I enjoyed reading your intro...I want to read more!

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  10. Hmmm... i love the hint of personality with the number counting. between the "always new" and the number trait, it seems your character has some great potential!


    - barbara @ de rebus
    www(dot)barbaragildea(dot)com

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  11. He's interesting! I love the lines about wearing stripes. Such a great character reveal.

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