Friday, November 30, 2012

It Always Works in the Movies

"I can't believe you forgot your keys.  Again."

"That's easy for you to say, you live here, too.  Where are your keys?"

"On the hook by the front door.  Right on the other side of this wall, as a matter of fact.  You were driving, so I didn't think I needed them.  How was I to know you were taking your spare set?"

Tony sighed and dug through his pockets once more, hoping to discover that he had also brought the other ring of keys.  No such luck.

"I'm cold and I have to go potty.  What are we going to do?"  Lisa pulled her coat tighter around her shoulders and readjusted her woolen scarf.  She rocked from side to side on her high heels, attempting to ignore her impatient bladder.

"How many cups of coffee did you drink tonight?"  Tony smiled as his wife wiggled on the front step.

"Don't talk about it," she groaned, "just get the door open.  Please."  She grimaced and regretted her third latte.

Tony slipped his hand out of his glove and slid his hand around Lisa's ear.  "Stop it!  Your hands are freezing ..." she stopped when she saw one of her bobby pins pinched between his finger and thumb, "What are going to do with that?  Oh, wait.  You're not going to try to pick the lock, are you?  Honey!"

"What?  I've seen James Bond do it a hundred times."  Tony bent the bobby pin and knelt down on the door mat, squinting at the lock.  He worked the point of the pin into the hole and poked around.  "Hmmm ... maybe you need two pins.  Do they use two pins in the movies?"

"I don't know.  The camera doesn't usually zoom in on the lock picker's technique."

"Do you have another bobby pin?  I think I can do this.  Really."

Lisa rolled her eyes.  She reached up to pluck another pin from her hair.  A dark tendril slipped loose and hung over the collar of her coat.  "Here, Love.  I'm calling the locksmith.  I really have to pee!" She pulled out her phone.

"Thank you for your vote of confidence," Tony smirked over his shoulder as he wriggled the tip of the second pin into the hole.  "I think ... I've almost ... got ... it."

"Did it work?"

Tony rested his head against the door.  "No.  And now both the pins are stuck."

"Aack!"  Lisa doubled over.  "Don't make me laugh!  I'm going to wet my pants!"  She tap danced around the porch.

Ten minutes later, the locksmith arrived and twelve minutes later, Lisa sprinted into the house, kicked off her high heels, just barely making it to the bathroom.  Tony paid Bruce, the locksmith's name was embroidered on the pocket of his coveralls.  He grinned sheepishly, "It always works in the movies."

"I hear that a lot."  Bruce handed Tony an invoice for $97 dollars and the doorknob jammed with bobby pins.  "You'll want to get that fixed.  Have a good night."


Linking up with The Red Dress Club.  This week's prompt:  500 words using one of these items:

I, too, have felt the urgency of Lisa, and I've considered whether I could pick a lock with a bobby pin.  I think I would also end up with an invoice and a jammed lock.  And a broken credit card.  They make it look so easy on TV.


  1. Love it! Real life, real characters, real problems. There is a character energy in this piece that I find very attractive.


  2. That's hilarious. Men always think they can fix anything.

  3. I love, loved that he jammed the lock with hairpins, it made him and them so real. And I really enjoyed their relationship which seemed both funny and loving.

  4. Ha! I would for sure jam the lock :) (We have a hidden key for moments like this. I have locked myself out more than once. Or twice.)


Thanks for visiting! Your comments are warm fuzzies! (And con-crit is always welcome, too.)